


Hilf Mir

by mareavera



Category: Rammstein
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombies, F/M, Multi, Post-Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 16:28:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 30,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6291712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mareavera/pseuds/mareavera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>He was the first person she had seen after months. Helping him out just felt natural. She worried about how they would have communicated. She wondered who he was, where he came from, what his name was. If he had a family before everything had happened, and if he still had it. If he was alone in the world…like her.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Im Lichtkleid

**Im Lichtkleid kam sie auf mich zu  
** Ich weiß es noch wie heut  
Ich war so jung hab mich geniert  
Doch hab es nie bereut.  


   
   
 _I’m running, and I’m breatheless. My energy is falling me. I stumble and look behind me. I try to breathe as I hear them coming; there’s two of them. Luckily for me, they’re slow. Suddenly I look in front of me, and I see a wall made of iron and steel. I turn my back again, to see if I can manage to get over it somehow. My leg hurts like crazy, I drag it and force myself to go beyond my pain. A tree…a tree! I hold a scream that I feel coming from my insides, and I grab the lowest branch of the tree. Slowly I go higher, and hear the noises from the wood, and the verses from the monsters that are getting closer. I hurry up and hold onto the iron barrier, that cuts my palms. With a last burst of life, I push myself over the wall, and land with a loud thud. There’s a light brown horse standing there, that gets scared and runs away from me, neighing. The landing damaged my leg even more, and I feel pain in every part of my body. My sight blurs, but I try to keep my head high. I drag myself forward, and barely see the shadow of a house, on top of a small hill. There’s something moving towards me. A person. I cannot recognize my voice as I open my mouth to speak._  
   
“Hilf…hilf mir.”  


✕ ✕ ✕

 

   
She got herself a cup of that hot, slushy beverage she had begun to call ‘coffee’. Taking the chipped cup with her, she walked towards the porch. The wood under her feet creaked as she went to sit on the stairs. She sighed, thinking about the long day ahead. Dawn was all around her, peaceful and calm, preannouncing a chilly day. All of a sudden her thoughts were shattered by a loud noise, a thud, followed by a scared neigh of her horse. She immediately stood up, trying to find out what was that was moving in the high grass right behind the wall. Nothing. She put down the cup and went to stop the horse, trying to calm it down. Then she heard something swishing very distinctly in the grass, and looked in its direction: it was a huge man.  
He crawled on the terrain, and she saw him leaving a trail of blood behind him. She saw his short and dark hair, she saw how dirty he was. There were scratches on his back, and his dirt covered arms were definite by muscles. He tried to grab the earth below him, pushing himself forward. She slowly went towards him, her knife at hand. He was still a human. He lent her a bloody hand, and looked him in his eyes as he looked up. Big, green, begging eyes.  
“Hilf…hilf mir.” she heard him talk with a dark and weak voice, before he fainted. She felt herself moved by something inside, and got closer.  
“Hey! HEY! WAKE UP!” she tried to slap his face. She put a finger under his nostrils, and as hot hair came from his nose she felt relieved. He was still alive. By what she remembered from the old world, she understood that he had said something in German. It would have probably been difficult to communicate with him. Still, she thought about a way to bring him inside and take care of him. She looked at the horse, and a spark lit up in her mind. 

  

She had managed to bring her ‘guest’ inside, thanks to her horse: she had tightened him to the animal’s neck with some ropes, and had succeded in bringing him in. The horse hadn’t been too happy about it, because the man was really heavy. A strength coming from God knew where had helped her in putting him on a sort of old, dusty mattres that was in the kitchen. A drop of sweat went down her forehead as she looked at him and looked at his thigh: he had a long, vertical scar, and it was nasty. There were pieces of something stuck in it, thankfully the continuous bleeding had stopped. She looked around and tried to find something to medicate the leg, and as she opened some of the kitchen drawers she found an old table cloth. She ripped a piece from it to fabricate a bandage, and put it next to her. Before wrapping the wound, she had to clean it. She ran outside and grabbed one of the buckets that were collecting water. She brought it inside and looked for the bottle of liquor she had found some days back in the house. She had a long sip to give herself courage, and then washed her hands with it to disinfect them. She breathed deeply and started to take out the pieces of iron from his thigh. The noise coming from it as she removed them almost made her puke, but she tried to resist the urge. The man didn’t seem to move, so she kept on working. She poured some water over the leg and cleaned it up, and thought she could have stitched it up if she had a needle and a medical thread. Unfortunately, she had none. Maybe she could have tried to go out and search for it later.  
He looked definitely older than she was. From the wrinkles around his lips she thought he might had been at least fourty, maybe more. Anyway, he looked too covered in dirt and blood to understand what he really looked like. As she made her considerations, she brought his leg up and wrapped the bandage around it, after disinfecting it with the alcohol. She thought it was definitely a waste of supplies, but her being human had came out in full force.  
She sat back and sighed, searching for the pack of cigarettes she had in her jacket. She pulled a match and a cigarette out of it and began smoking. She let out a cloud of smoke and went to get some more clean water and the remains of the table cloth.  
“I always complain for getting bored. Well, not today.” She sat down next to him, and put the piece of fabric in the bucket. Taking one of his hands between hers, she thought he had been lucky because the metal hadn’t cut that dee pinto his palms. Her hand looked so small compared to his…and he looked like a peaceful, sleeping giant. After the hands she took care of his face. It took her some time to clean out the dry blood from his eyebrows and his stubble. Wherever he came from, it must have been some place with a barber…  
After finishing, she took a good look at him. She had definitely seen him somewhere else. His strong features, his lips. He had very light eyecircles, but they didn’t make him that old. He looked like he had been through a lot.  
She heard a loud thunder, and the horse clopping, scared. She ran outside and went for the hens, to see if they were alright. She gathered the three eggs they had laid, and went back in the house. Then she sat down on the rocking chair of the living room, exhausted. But before she could relax, an epiphany crossed her mind: maybe she should have deprived him of his weapons. He had a belt around his waist, a machete and a big semi auto handgun. There was only a bullet left. She put the weapons far from him…but realized that he was so huge he could have strangled her with his bare hands. Then, she remembered: the handcuffs. She went to look for them in her travel backpack, and decided to lock one of the man’s wrists to the radiator near his head, in the kitchen. Satisfied, she looked at him one last time before sitting down on a chair at the table.  
“It wasn’t that bad of an idea to search that broken police car wasn’t it? You never know when things are going to be useful.” She spoke towards him. Of course, he didn’t answer.  
He was the first person she had seen after months. Helping him out just felt natural. She worried about how they would have communicated. She wondered who he was, where he came from, what his name was. If he had a family before everything had happened, and if he still had it. If he was alone in the world…like her.


	2. Ein Lied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Can you…free me?” he replied, with a hopeful expression on his face.  
> “Are you a good person?”

**_Wenn ihr nicht schlafen könnt_ **

**_sei euch ein Lied vergönnt_ **

**_Und der Himmel bricht_ **

**_Ein Lied fällt weich vom Himmelslicht._ **

**** ****

_“I thought you should know.”_

_“You think I didn’t know about it?”_

_“Well, I-“_

_“Yes, I knew it. But now stop crying, because you’re definitely prettier when you laugh.”_

_“I want to be with you…”_

_“Me too. Just try to calm down.”_

* * *

 

A very loud thunder woke her up from the sleep she had fallen into, laying on the kitchen table. It was a time in which nightmares were not making her sleep comfortably. That’s why she found herself falling asleep during daytime, as she took a rest from her work on the farm.

She blinked her eyes and looked outside the kitchen window: the rain had started. She stood up brushing her hands on her face and through her now shoulder length hair, and checked up on the man. He was still sleeping. She got herself a carrot from the basket of vegetables on the table, and began eating as she went towards the door. The rain was unceasing, but also comforting. That sound almost brought her back in time. A deep groan interrupted her moment of bliss. She looked at the man, and he had just opened his eyes.

“Hello, Snowhite.” She said with a soft smile. He looked at her without pulling himself up, with a confused gaze.

“Was…” he moved his arm and felt it was blocked by something. Why had she handcuffed him?!

“That’s just for my safety. As long as you demonstrate me you’re a good person I’ll let you go.” She got closer, sitting down with crossed legs next to him. He pulled up his back laying on his arms, the feeling of dizziness in his head, the pulsating pain in every part of his being.

“Ich…” he stopped, looking at his leg. He was feeling less pain than before…something must had happened, thanks to her. “Sprichst du Deutsch?” she looked him in the eyes for a second. God how did it feel to have somebody _alive_ in front of her.

“Deutsch? Hm…ein…bisschen. A little.” The man wasn’t that all disappointed. “And…erm, English?”

“Yes...Ich denke.” The girl smiled at him. He had never been good at speaking English…Richard was the one who was good at it.

“Are you okay?”

“Okay…good?”

“Yes! Ja.”

“Hm...so und so.” The man made a gesture with his hand to indicate his condition. “Und…mein Hand? Kann ich frei sein?”

“Wait…” she thought. “Frei…free.”

“Can you…free me?” he replied, with a hopeful expression on his face.

“Are you a good person?”

He thought, with all of his energy. Good…gut. She wanted to know if he was a good man. Was he _really_ a good person?

“How many people have you killed? Why?” the girld asked him, pretending to shoot her head with her fingers. People…Leute. How many people had he killed. “How many of those monsters have you killed?” He looked at her, trying to understand. He took a deep breath and passed his hands on his face.

“Leute…eins. He wanted to…wie sagt man..." he fiddled with his hands, mimicking the act of stabbing, “Kill my…my Tochter. Wie sagt man?”

“Daughter.”

“Monsters…viele. A lot.”  

That stranger seemed to be sincere. But it was still too early to trust him completely.

“What’s your name?”

“Dietrich. Aber Till ist gut.”  

“What?”

“…Till. My name…is Till.” The man replied. A shy smile appeared on his tired face, trying to be friendly towards the girl. She held a hand out to him, and he shook it firmly. His hand was strong and warm. A human contact…finally.

“Benedetta.” She smiled back. She was so grateful for that moment. “Are you thirsty? Durst?”

“Yes! Ja…Hast du..have you got…water?”

“Yes, water.” The girl stood up, and went to get the bucket of water she had left on the table. Then she looked for a cup in the cupboard. She put everything down next to him. “Ok, I’m going to set you free. I have your weapons and will be constantly point my gun at you, so don’t try to run or hurt me. You would regret it. Well you wouldn’t have enough strength to strike me anyways.”

Till looked at her, his eyes were concentrated trying to understand everything she said. He remembered every time he had practiced English with his daughter. His daughter…he shook his head, after the girl had opened the handcuffs with a small key. He immediately grabbed the cup and plunged it in the fresh water. Benedetta left out a laugh as he kept on drinking without stopping, water splashing everywhere. The man stopped, cleaning his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Tank you.”

“It’s thank you.” She corrected him.

“Thank you.”

She nodded. He saw him as he began to stare at the carrot still in her hands. She held out the vegetable to him.  

“Come on, eat. Essen.” He took the carrot from his hands and started eating. It felt so strange to see such a huge man being so shy. He started eating with satisfaction. There weren’t a lot of vegetables where he came from.

“So…where are you from?”

“Woher?” he thought for a moment. “It’s a…Schloss. Forti…fortification. Five days…from here.” He had surely walked a long way, and had encountered a lot of difficulties judging from the state he was in as he had arrived at the farm.

“Have you left them?”

“Weg? Nein.” He pointed at the carrot.

“Were you looking for food? Erm…Essen?” Till nodded, happy that they could understand each other.

“I…fish.”

“You know how to fish?”

“Yes! Ja. Und jagen.”

“Jagen…hunting?”

“Doch.”  

Till crossed his legs. He felt a sudden pain in his thigh, and gently touched it.

“Danke.”

“No problem. I will change the bandage tomorrow.” She pointed at the thigh, the cloth was visibly blood stained. “You can spend the night. Hier, schlafen.” Till didn’t know why that stranger was being so kind to him. She was trusting him. She had taken care of him as if she had known him for ages. _Like Nele._

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”  

“Bist du…sure?”

“Ja. Sure.” Benedetta let herself go to another grin. In the _old world_ she had always been a shy, insecure person. All that time alone though had surely had an impact on her. That’s probably why she had decided to take care of that living person even if she didn’t know anything about him. All of her human feelings had bursted out. Compassion, kindness. She was sure that if _he_ had been there he would have been proud of her.

 _His face_. Those light green and grey eyes, surrounded by those circles. That always tired and beautiful face. Her yes filled up with tears, but she managed to turn around so that her guest wouldn’t see her.

“I’m…going to sleep.” She quickly went upstairs to grab a blanket for him. She came down, and handed it to him. “Good night then.” She was about to turn and go up to her room, but she felt herself being held. Till had taken the cover and was holding her hands between his.

“You…are a good person. You saved me. I…will not forget.” The warmth of their hands touching made both of them feel a little bit better. The German man’s big eyes were full of gratefulness. Benedetta smiled, a little embarassed. Till let her go, softly. “I…will not hurt you. Ich…promise. Goodnight.”

Benedetta turned around and went upstairs. She curled up in the old bed, that had belonged to the owner of the farm. She gazed at the ceiling until she fell asleep, the rain outside singing her a lullaby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a story I have had in store for so long, I don't even know. It's extremely personal, and it deals with a lot of themes. Solitude, sadness, survival...and I just happened to find in Rammstein the best people to help me throw my feelings out. Especially with Till. Fear not, the others will come along too in due time. Thanks to Darby_Harper for being the first to comment, and I hope you enjoy this chapter too. :)


	3. Someone that saves you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She went downstairs before assuring her weapons’ belt on her waist, but as soon as she looked in front of her she felt her heart stopping.  
> Till wasn’t there anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everybody for the lovely feedback. You guys are amazing! :)
> 
> Enjoy your dose of Till-ness for the day. I felt bad for the cliffhanger so...there you go!

**_Komm in mein Boot_ **

**_ein Sturm kommt auf_ **

**_und es wird Nacht_ **

**_Wo willst du hin_ **

**_so ganz allein_ **

**_treibst du davon._ **

****

****

****

_“Vati?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“You have to be happy.”_

_“How?”_

_“Let me go.”_

_“No.”_

_“You must-“_

_“NO! I have never left you. I won’t do that now.”_

_“If you don’t, somebody will do it.”_

_“They just have to try.”_

_“I’m sick. Fever is rising, there’s not much time left.”_

_“Nele, stop.”_

_“No, vati. You must stop it.”_

_With incredible difficulty I try to lift myself up. I go on my knees and feel the excruciating pain in the leg. I curse in my language, between my teeth. I don’t want my pain to wake her up. I lean on the wall and try to get to the door. I hold on to the jamb of it with my arms, and look outside. It’s pitch  black out there. Darkness. Not an animal…nothing. I loved nature.  I used to retire in it, in those moments in which I felt like running away from the frenzy of my life, from the lights, from the fire. From everything. Now I just hear the rain falling. It feels like being engulfed in a waterfall. I think that rain is a miracle. If there’s something that is going to bring back life on this bastard of a planet it’s the rain._

_The place, the ‘castle’, as we all call it, will be okay. Life is going to be flowing again. I think about my five friends, my brothers. I wonder if they have already forgotten me. Who knows, maybe one of them thinks I’m dead, and has given up the research. Or maybe, they know me well enough to know that I will come back. I still want to come back, as soon as I feel better. I cannot have a girl who is half my age be my baby sitter. It should be the contrary._

_Thankfully I still remember where I left my crossbow and my canes. Still, I lost my walkie talkie. Scheisse. Maybe I’m lucky and it fell somewhere next to the farm’s walls. Maybe I’m not that lucky and somebody took it. Somebody…who the hell should have picked it up? Those monsters? I feel stupid just for having the thought._

_I curse myself for not stealing Richard’s cigarettes before leaving. That dickhead…and thinking that I always got mad at him for smoking so much. He smoked a lot, he still smokes a lot. I don’t know how he does it, but he comes back from every expedition with a new packet of those cancer delivering things._

_And then I think about her. Her…that with an incredible strength saved me. If I stayed there, I would have died from the bleeding. She took out the pieces of metal. They were there because of the beam that had fallen on me as I tried to run. I should have never gotten inside that place looking for supplies. She took care of me, without even knowing if I was a…decent human being. I want to bring her with me. Seriously. She would be fine with me…with us. We could come back together. It’s not that far, we just need to wait. Because I don’t want to be a burden to her, I don’t have to be a burden. I think Benedetta needs some…lightness in her life. She doesn’t need me. In this moment, I’m the one that needs her. She didn’t take my life for granted, and I have to get back to her somehow. She could have left me there dying, but she didn’t. Yes, could be fine with us. There are some people her age, whatever her age is. Maybe….even Oliver could be good for her._

_Gott…am I old._

 

* * *

 

****

The morning after Benedetta woke up with a pale sunshine on her face. A spontaneous smile appeared on her lips as she stretched her arms. The first night of calm sleep after months. She put on her trousers, noticing she had lost a bit more of weight. Thinking of how many problems with her weight did she have to deal with years ago…

She put on her tank top, her shirt and her dusty old military jacket, and looked herself in the mirror. She went downstairs before assuring her weapons’ belt on her waist, but as soon as she looked in front of her she felt her heart stopping.

Till wasn’t there anymore. He wasn’t on the mattress, he wasn’t looking for food everywhere in the house. She ran outside, furious and scared. Had it been all a dream, a nightmare, or what?

But as her sight got a hold of what was happening, she slowly started to breathe normally again. There he was. Sitting down on the grass, the horse eating what was left of it around Till. He was gently stroking the animal’s head, and was observing him. As he heard the creak of the door opening, he turned his head and waved.

His face was more relaxed than the previous evening, and she could finally see his features clearly. His face was…reassuring.

“Guten tag.”

“Ciao.”

“Wie geht’s?”

“Okay, I guess. You scared me.”

“Excusa me.”

“Excuse me.”

“…cuse.” Benedetta laughed as he repeated the syllables. Talk about lost in translation. She sat down next to him, the horse immediately snoring and pushing its head under her hand.

“He…name?”

“He doesn’t have a name.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Ich weiss nicht.” She shrugged. She had never thought about giving her horse a name. “But he…has been with me for a while now. He helped me.” Till nodded, and looked thoughtful.

“Kann ich einen Namen geben?”

“To him? Do you want to give him a name?”

“Warum nichts?”

“Yeah. Why not?” Benedetta looked at the German man. Till scratched the stubble on his jaw as he kept on thinking.

“Retter.” Till said. He thought it was the perfect name.

“What does it mean?”

“Retten. It means…ach. Save? Someone that…saves you.”

The girl looked at the horse and thought that the name Till had suggested was perfect. Someone that saves you.

“Perfect.” She said, convinced. She left a kiss on the animal’s nose, and Till laughed for a moment. Then he mentally counted up to three, before trying to get up. Unfortunately, he immediately fell down, disappointed.

“Scheisse.”  

“Don’t move, you dork.” Benedetta shook her head, looking at that huge man massaging his thigh. The pain must have been really hard to handle, but she admired how little had he complained. She quickly went to the barn, and searched among the incredible disorder that was in there. She found just what would fit her: a rake. It was a bit heavy for her, but it would have been great for Till. She came back to him, with a triumphant smile on her face.

“Hier. Use this.” She gave him the rake, and he looked at it. He planted the metal part on the ground, and pulled himself up with all his strength. It was the first time she had seen him standing. He looked at him from below, and she didn’t like it. He almost sent a chill down her spine. Then she looked at his thigh: she had completely forgotten to change his bandage.

“Jesus. I’m an idiot. Can you…manage to arrive there? Dort…gehen bitte? The leg.” She pointed at the stairs of the porch. Till nodded, and bit his lip because of the pain. Every step hit him, the wound was still too deep. She managed to get where she had said, and sat down letting a long sigh.

“Bravo. Now wait here, I’ll be right back.” Benedetta looked at him, thoughtfully. Till pulled up his arms, with a half smile. He had never been a smiling guy. That was Paul. Still, he couldn’t understand why all of a sudden he felt relaxed, and felt like smiling a little bit more when he was around her. Benedetta came back with a blanket on her arm, a bucket of water, the alcohol and a pack of cigarettes. Till’s eyes lit up: Benedetta saw him, and lent him the bottle and the cigarettes.

“Go ahead.” Till didn’t need to hear it twice. He grabbed a cigarette and a match from the crunched pack of Lucky Strikes. 

“Prosit.” He said, as he drank a sip of alcohol with the other hand. Then he lit up the cigarette between his lips, and breathed the smoke in. His giant ribcage inflated, and Benedetta fleetingly looked at him. The girl took out the old bandage, paying attention because the flesh had stuck to the fabric. She checked to see if he was feeling any pain, but he just looked satisfied as he kept on smoking. The wound was still very bad; cleaning it constantly would have prevented it from getting infected.

“Is there a doctor, where you live?” she asked, as she delicately cleaned the blood from the wound. Till let out a cloud of smoke on his side. For a moment, she thought again that she had seen him somewhere. But where?

“Doktor? Ja. He…stitches me up, when I come back.” The girl’s heart skipped a beat. Of course he wanted to come back. She knew that, and she was prepared for it. Still, the thought of remaining alone once again scared her. Till, somehow, understood that from the look in her eyes and took the courage.

“Will you?”

“What?”

“Mit mir kommen. Come with me.”

Benedetta was definitely surprised. The German man looked at her with a friendly expression. He didn’t smile, he just looked at her with his big and tired eyes. She felt herself pierced by that gaze, and felt her cheeks becoming red.

“I…I don’t know. Maybe you’re too many.”

“Bitte?”

“Zu viele Leute, dort.”

“Nein…nicht so viel. Fifty.”

“Fifty people?”

“Yes. We…go forward. Trying again.” Till explained, as if he was trying to convince her. “I didn’t find food. Found a new person. Stark.” He hit his chest with a hand, on his heart.

“I’m better off alone. But I will think about it.” She finished to fix the bandage and pointed at his hands. “Hands.” She waited for Till to take the cigarette between his lips before checking on his hands. Thankfully they weren’t as bad as his thigh, and were slowly starting to heal. She washed her hands in the bucket, and stood up to go and put everything back into place.  

“Danke. Next time…I will do it myself.”

“Shush. It’s not a problem, at all.”  

Benedetta looked at him, and nodded. Then she started her work on the farm. She left him there, and he looked at her as he kept on smoking. He smoked slowly, feeling the hot air running down his throat.

He really felt powerless. He desperately wanted to help her. Maybe in a couple of days the pain could have been bearable enough to begin helping her. He thought about the proposal he had made her, and really hoped that she accepted. A girl like her…she didn’t deserve to be left alone. She seemed to have a lot of qualities and skills…after all she had remained alone for God knew how long. He already started to imagine her at his camp, and smiled to himself. They just needed to wait a bit longer so he could be able to walk faster.

Suddenly, from a corner of the wall, he saw an undead walking. He was slow, and his body was cut in half. He had lost an arm and half of his ribcage, probably as he had struggled to get inside through the metal. Seeing as the girl was on the other side of the farm, Till thought he could handle it. He went for his weapons on his leg…and was filled with panic. He didn’t have any weapons to defend himself.

“Bene…BENEDETTA!”

The girl didn’t turn around immediately. She was crouched on the ground, taking care of the few vegetables that had grown on the farm.

“…HELP!” Till said out loud again, this time with success. Benedetta turned her head, and immediately saw the danger coming. The zombie was getting closer and closer to the man on the porch, that was trying to get back inside, moving backwards on his arms. She stood up, and ran to him with her knuckle knife at hand. The monster was trying to hold his only arm out to her, but she managed to kick him in his stomach. As he crouched forward, she planted the knife in its head. The monster fell face down, definitely dead. Till and Benedetta looked at each other. The man was trying to hide the fear. Fear wasn’t an emotion that suited him. Benedetta let out a deep sigh, as she cleaned the knife on the ground.  

“I believe giving you your weapons back might be a wise decision, after all.” Till brushed his hands on his face, and watched as the girl went back inside. As she came out, she had his machete in her hands. Thankfully everything had gone the right way. He took the weapon and attached it back to his belt.

“Danke. Tut mir leid.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry about what?”

“You don’t…have to defend me. I must defend you.”

“No no no, don’t even say that. It’s my fault, you were in danger.” She shook her head, feeling extremely guilty. “I left you without any defense. I am the one that should be sorry.” Till didn’t even listen to her. He could have gone mad at her for leaving him defenseless, but he decided not to cause any trouble. After all he still owed her.

“I…help you. With the gate.” He pointed at the wall, at the spot from where he had seen the zombie coming. Then he stood up with the help of the rake, and looked at her in expectation. “Go?”

“We go”

“Doch. We go.”

Benedetta sighed, and went to get the tools in the barn. It wasn’t that bad of an idea, and maybe it would have helped him and his masculinity. Men. She decided that he would have to just stand there to push the metal so it would stay still as she fixed it. She called the horse with a whistle.  _Retter._ The horse arrived trotting, and the girl took the halter she had fabricated with some rope that the animal had on its head.

“Lean on him, you’ll get less tired.” She brought Retter near Till, that pet him before holding on to the mane of its head. Benedetta began on gently pulling the horse, and Till followed both of them using the rake with the other hand. They would have taken it very easily and slowly. They had all the time in the world. The only noises that could be heard were the soft steps of hoofs, Till’s heavy steps and the girl’s ones. The wound was pulsating from time to time, but somehow it bothered him less than before. A bird left a tree and flew above their heads. It was fall, probably around november. The air was chillier with every day passing.  

They arrived at the gate, and Bendetta stopped the horse. She looked out the hole to see if there were any other zombies. Then she kicked the opened part of the wall with all her strength, but it didn’t move that much. She looked at Till, embarrassed.

“Sorry…erm, can you…?” Till nodded. “But please, don’t hurt yourself.” Till made a gesture with his hand. She didn’t know how much pain he could take, and frankly it was better not to know. With the help of the rake, he moved in front of the wall and used his good leg: he charged a powerful kick, and hit the piece of metal that finally connected with the other, closing the gap. Benedetta made a curtsy at him.

“Danke.”

“Bitte, Fraulein.” Till bowed, and leant on the enclosure, making sure it didn’t open again. He stood in silence, looking at the girl as she planted big needles onto the metal with a rusty hammer. He felt proud of her, and of himself. The pain in his leg seemed to have been cancelled by the endorphin running around in his body. He closed his eyes and listened to the sounds around him, with a satisfied sigh.


	4. Sie ist nicht alleine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was in complete panic. She breathed heavily, non stop. The tears started to run down her face, unstoppable. After a handful of seconds, there were heavy steps on the wooden staircase.

**_Morgenstern ach scheine_ **

**_auf die Liebste meine_ **

**_Wirf ein warmes Licht_ **

**_auf ihr Ungesicht_ **

**_Sag ihr sie ist nicht alleine._ **

****

****

_“Did you take everything?”_

_“Yes but…what is happening?!”_

_“I don’t know. Look for yourself.”_

_“…Michele, what the fuck…what are we going to do?”_

_“Let’s take the car. We’re leaving. If we can we can check on my mother and your parents.”_

_“If we can?”_

_“Oh come on, stop weighing every word I say!”_

_“The phone is not working....”_

_“Check the internet.”_

_“Okay, if it’s on I can see where my father is.”_

_“Good. About time you really used that fucking iPhone.”_

_“Michele…”_

_“Are you ready?”_

_“Yes. Open the door, but…I’m scared.”_

_“You must never be afraid.”_

_The door opens. A vortex of lights and shadows penetrates the room we’re in. Her father, her mother…everybody she has ever met. They’re dead. Dead monsters walking towards her. Monsters with a falling jaw, drooling, that push themselves to grab them._

_“Mom…d-dad…”_

_She turns around to look at her man. His eyes are blank, the hands reaching for her. Blood running down his lips._

_“You’re alone now.”_

_The teeth sink into her shoulders. The nails grab her hips and go deep inside her flesh. Bites rip off her arms, her legs. She screams and screams but nobody comes to her aid and she feels the pain rising up in her chest…_

 

“NO! ENOUGH! STOP IT! THIS IS HURTING, YOU’RE KILLING ME!! STOP IT PLEASE!!” she shrieked, immediately waking up. She was in complete panic. She breathed heavily, non stop. The tears started to run down her face, unstoppable. After a handful of seconds, there were heavy steps on the wooden staircase.

“BENEDETTA!” Till called out, his deep voice full of concern. She didn’t answer him. He hurried up feeling his wounded thigh burning, every step was hard to take. But he managed to arrive upstairs, and directed himself to where he heard her cry coming from. He leant on the walls to walk, and as he arrived at her door he just saw the shadow of her body curled up on the bell in a fetal position. He almost stumbled on a piece of the wooden floor that was coming out of it as he tried to get closer to the bed. The night was dark, lightless. She heard his steps, and immediately pulled herself up and started to scream. She didn’t recognize him.

“GO AWAY!! WHO ARE YOU? GO AWAY, YOU’RE SCARING ME!!” she pushed herself to the headboard of he bed, as if she was trying to disappear in the wall. Till slowly went forward, his hands up trying to calm her down. Without a word he managed to arrive at the edge of the bed. Benedetta was almost out of breath, her chest going up and down like crazy.

“Keine Angst. It’s me…Till.” Till reached out to her, and succeeded in gently taking one of her hands. It was sweaty, and shaking.

“Make them stop…make them stop…it hurts…it fucking hurts!” she kept on crying and shaking. He seemed to him that she would never stop. His heart hurt in seeing her like that. And the thought of Nele kept on blurring his mind. He went back to the present moment, and sat down on her side, as he still held her hand _._ The girl seemed to be trusting him again. Till took advantage of the moment, and slowly left her hand so he could slowly and gently slide an arm around her shoulders. He felt her trembling against his broad chest, and felt better as she laid her head on him. He felt her tears wet his shirt, as he listened to her breath. She just couldn’t catch her breath. He engulfed her with the other arm, and leant his chin between her hair. He could have told her a lot of things, if she could have just understood them. He decided to keep it to the essential.

“Einatmen.” He breathed in deeply, and saw the girl going up with his chest, “Ausatmen.” He breathed out, always keeping her between his arms. Her crying was still unceasing, but at least her breathing was slowly going back to normal. He decided to lay down, with her body still attached to his. She followed his decision, and didn’t oppose to it. He didn’t let her go for a moment, and still kept on whispering to breathe in and breathe out. He felt her hand gripping onto his bicep, her small fingers around his muscles.

“I…”

“Ja?”

“I want to come with you. We’re…we’re leaving, as soon as you can walk better. The nightmares…they are too many.” Her voice was weak and feeble. Till sighed, as he held her next to his heart.

“Ok. Jetzt, sleep.”  

She let her eyes shut, without any resistance. She felt safe enough to drift immediately in a deep sleep. Till left a soft kiss on her head, very naturally. It had been an awful moment, but he was content with how he had handled it. He still had that protective spirit in him. Thankfully, that hadn’t left him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how this chapter turned out. It's short, but definitely full. I wrote it very quickly, the words were just flowing right away. I really imagined this scene, and I love that I managed to get it to you just as I wanted to. :)  
> Thanks again for the love!


	5. Weich wie Schnee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We have a horse!”  
> “Ja…und so?”

**Frißt mich auf mit Haut und Haar**

**und würgt mich wieder aus nach Tag und Jahr**

**Läßt sich fallen weich wie Schnee**

**Erst wird es heiß dann kalt am Ende tut es weh.**

_I slowly open my eyes, and look around. I’m about to tell her “good morning”, but she’s not in my arms anymore. She must have woken up earlier than me. I sigh and sit on the edge of the bed for a moment, thinking about what happened during the night. I had a hard time making her trust me. She didn’t even seem entirely herself, almost as if that nightmare had still its claws around her. It was awful, truly. Her screams cut deep into my heart and my soul, like a knife. Still, as soon as she got asleep I opened my eyes every time I felt her move, to check if everything was okay. I don’t even know her that much, but she has saved my life; that’s enough for me to understand what kind of person she is. The kind of person I need to protect, and that I surely need around me._

_I stand up and take a deep breath. I try to stand, and see that my leg is doing a good job in holding me up, even though it still hurts like hell. I lean on the walls and try to arrive at the window on the hallway, the one that looks onto the farm. The day has just started, there’s a pale sun coming up from the horizon. There I see her: she’s harvesting a few vegetables in a basket, crouched on the ground. She cleans them one by one from the dirt, and puts them away. I smile at the sight, and slowly begin to make my way downstairs. There’s a small plate on the kitchen table, with two boiled eggs and two carrots on it. She has cooked some breakfast for me. I feel some warmth around my chest as I take the rake and the plate, and walk towards the door. I go out on the porch, and feel secure enough to go to where she is. As soon as she feels my steps, she turns her head and smiles at me. Blushing._

_“Good…good morning Till.”_

_“Guten Tag.” I reply, leaning on a pole as I start to eat one of the eggs. “Thanks for the breakfast.”_

_“Ah, that” she says with a shy laugh. “That’s nothing, really.”_

_There’s a moment of silence as I keep on looking at her, while she works. Then I see her stand up, with a worried expression. She’s so small compared to me._

_“Listen, about last n-“_

_“If you don’t want to talk about it, we’won’t do that. Stimmt?”_

_She sighs at my reply, putting down the basket. She looks at me in the eyes for what seems like an infinite second. I can see that she doesn’t want me to think that she’s weak. But I already know that._

_“But what I said, about coming with you…”_

_“Ja?”_

_“That, I really mean it. I want to come with you to your…castle, town, or whatever it is.”_

_“Okay.” I reply to her. I feel something inside of me burning with happiness._

_“I am sorry, it was embarrassing. But I just can’t keep up with it anymore. Those nightmares are going to kill me, and it seemed like they had stopped…the night you arrived.” She kept on talking, as I listened carefully._

_“We leave, as soon as I can walk.” I reply with my awful English. “Ok?”_

_“Alright.” She takes a deep breath, and goes back to cleaning the dirt. She’s not that talkative today. And that doesn’t help since I’m not either. I watch and keep on eating. I didn’t remember that eggs tasted this good. My mind is already somewhere else. I see her coming hunting and fishing with me. I can teach her everything about it. Nele never wanted to learn, she preferred to look for supplies in abandoned places. She loved animals. I must stop thinking about her…living in the present time doesn’t necessary mean that I’ll forget her. I will never forget her, she was my blood, my flesh. But Benedetta…Gott. Isn’t this a sign? A sign from…I don’t know if there’s a heaven anymore. We’re both alone, we don’t have anyone left, we’re...just so alike. Last night made me human again. That’s why I liked it so much, probably. I went on this trip to clear my mind, and I ended up finding something more than some kind of relief. I have this nature…I am good at taking care of people. I am good at protecting them. And I will demonstrate it to her._

_“No, wait a moment.” She suddenly says, interrupting my train of thought._

_“Was?”_

_“We have a horse!”_

_“Ja…und so?”_

_“You can travel on his back, and I’ll just walk beside you.” Benedetta says, a smile immediately appearing on her round face. I think about it for a second and take a look at Retter as he’s taking a nap next to the barn. He’s quite big, his neck is just below my shoulder. I shake my head, because I don’t want her to lend me her only mean of transportation, and her only friend._

_“Nein,” I tell her, “You should mount him.”_

_“I’ll be fine. He’ll be fine.” She runs to the horse, waking it up. Retter snorts, still quite happy to see her as she strokes him on the nose. “I just…need to gather something for the trip. Winter clothes I have found in the house, some covers, food, weapons…well pretty much everything that is useful on this farm.”_

_I let a laugh out, and nod at her. She’s determined to leave everything behind._

_“Can I help you?”_

_“No, no” she says, running back to the house, “You stay there. Relax!” she seems to be possessed by a renewed spirit of life. She’s radiant, I can tell it from her face. She stops right before going inside. “Just…sit down. I’ll be back soon.” Even from where I am I can see her smile. It goes from ear to ear. I have never seen someone so genuinely happy to depart for a potentially dangerous trip. No, it won’t be dangerous for her. I will keep her safe. I promise._

_I sit down with Retter, that pushes me with his nose to be petted, and ends up making me fall on the ground. I sigh, and take the chance to gaze up at the white sky._

_I never thought that I could be this free and happy. Again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, but it's the prelude to some great things to come! Thanks as usual to everybody. I love you! <3


	6. Dann halten wir sofort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Were you famous?” Till didn’t exactly know what to tell her. The old world didn’t exist anymore, so there was no use in talking about it or even remembering it.

 

**_Wir halten das Tempo_ **

**_Wir halten unser Wort_ **

**_Wenn einer nicht mithält_ **

**_Dann halten wir sofort._ **

****

_The day after. Somewhere unknown._

“Hey! I’ve found something here!”

The four men looked at their bald friend. He had stopped walking, and he was picking up something from the ground. Richard walked towards him, one of his throwing knives at hand. He crouched and let out a cloud of smoke that went right into Oliver’s face. He didn’t look that happy about it.

“For God’s sake.”

“Sorry.” Richard shrugged, and looked at what his friend had found. The rain had covered it with mud, and it took them a few minutes to understand what it was. 

“What is it?” Christoph had joined them, the machine gun at hand. He looked around to see if there were any monsters coming before taking a closer look at the object. “Jesus Christ.”

“Bad news?” Flake was standing behind them, an hint of worry in his voice.

"It's a walkie talkie." Oliver cleaned the mud from the device, and pushed the buttons. It made a noise for a few seconds, before definitely turning off. "Could it be Till's?" 

"It could." Richard replied, standing up and putting the knive back with the others. "It would explain why he stopped answering us, eight days ago."  

"I wonder for how long that thing has been buried under the dirt though." 

"Ever so optimistic Schneider." Flake said, as he cleaned his glasses with his shirt. "It's the only path we have. We need to follow it." The others nodded in agreement. Oliver stood up, and put the walkie talkie in his backpack. They could have charged it back at the Castle, and he honestly hoped to find Till and give it back to him. 

Paul approached them, pulling the hood of his jacket above his head. 

"Where are we going then?" He asked. Richard took a few steps in the mud, looking around. He pointed at the woods towards them. A fog had started to appear, and the group started walking. 

As he lead the others, Richard heard a groan coming from below. There was an undead squashed under a tree that had fallen. With the cigarette between his teeth, he kicked it in the head. The awful noise of meat and bones squashing made him cringe, but he got over it. He took the cigarette from his lips and turned it off onto that blob of black blood and rotten flesh.

"Showoff!" Paul said, from the back of the line. 

The group kept walking into the woods, as Richard let out a small laugh. He didn’t know what he would have done without Paul in all these years. He didn’t know what he would have done without any single one of them, actually. He thought about those times in which he had needed some time apart from them. The fights, the sleepless nights spent fighting over a guitar riff or over a refrain he didn’t like, the slammed doors. All of it didn’t matter now. He felt responsible for the group, and he wanted to find Till. He knew, deep in his heart, that the former singer of their long gone band was still alive and well.

He zipped up his jacket and went on, his hot breath forming clouds in the cold air.

 

* * *

 

 

The sunset had come really fast. They had left the farm for two days now, and everything had seemed to go smoothly. She had taken care of all the zombies they had encountered without any difficulty, making sure that Till and Retten wouldn’t be harmed. Still, every time she met his eyes after killing one of those monsters, she felt that he wasn’t coping with his helplessness. She really didn’t mind being the tough one, for once. But she knew that he wanted to be the alpha male. The night before, as they had found shelter in an abandoned supermarket, she had heard him while she was about to fall asleep: he was on guard duty, and she had heard him moan in pain and curse in German, as he walked around the room. He was doing some sort of self physiotherapy. She truly admired his strength. But she didn’t want him to get hurt even worse.

Till mounted off the horse, hissing through his teeth because of the pain. He looked around and limped towards the door, as Retter softly clopped behind him. They were near what it looked like a church. It was one of those protestant buildings, painted in white. Extremely simple, and typical German. The grass was very high, probably thanks to all the rain of the previous days. All the trees around it were bare, and lifeless. Another sign that winter was inexorably at the door. Benedetta was already about to enter, waiting on the steps of the church for him. The knife at hand, ready to get in. Till tied Retter to the tree next to the entrance, waiting to clear the place before getting him inside. It definitely wasn’t safe to leave him out there for the night.

“Fertig?” she asked. Till nodded, right hand on the machete. She kicked the rotten and damp door and got in, and they heard the familiar noises coming from the zombies. There was still enough light to see that they were confronted by three monsters, one of them a few steps from the door. Benedetta immediately took out her Glock pistol with the silencer, and was quick enough to shoot the closest – and most dangerous of them, - in the head.

“Achtung, rechts!” Till shouted. The girl turned her head to see that one of the remaining zombies had already reached its bony arms towards her, its fingers touching her jacket. She felt her heart jump into her throat, and pushed the undead with her hands. She saw something swinging in the air, then felt something spatter to her face: Till had managed to hit the zombie on its skull, his machete planted in it. “Gun, SCHNELL!” the girl passed him her weapon, as fast as possible. The German man turned to his right, and fired a shot that went right through the last undead’s head. The corpses collapsed on the pavement with a thud. Benedetta let a deep breath out, and let herself sit down on the ground, next to the zombies.

“Thank you.”

“Es war…wie sagt man?” Till thought for a second, giving her the Glock back. “Duty.” The girl sighed, and tilted her head back for a moment. Till went back to get Retter, always leaning on the thick stick he had found during the first two days of the trip. It was surely easier to carry than the rake he used at the farm. He slowly led the horse inside, limping on his bad leg. Retter adjusted himself to the new place, taking a walk down the hallway of the church.  

“Ich…I will make the fire.” Till told her, as he went towards the benches.

“No, I’ll do it. Don’t tire yourself.” Benedetta stood up, trying to take Till’s machete out of the monster’s head. It was stuck very deep. That gave her a good measure of how strong that man really was.

“No,” he continued, pointing at her. “Sit down. Breathe.” He went closer to her, and bent down to take one of the zombies by the arm. He dragged it out the door, and came back to get the other two. After he had done that, he limped towards one of the wooden benches, and pushed it in front of the door, so they’d be safer for the night. Benedetta watched him do all these things. He was doing all his best to go past his physical pain, to be the ‘man’ of the situation. For once, she decided to let him take his legitimate role; if he felt good in helping her, so be it. She let her backpack down, and leant back on her arms. She watched as he prepared a spot for the fire, sitting down to break the pieces of a chair and throwing them where he wanted to make the fire.

She had been definitely surprised by how fast he had been to help her with the zombies, seeing at it was the first time he had killed some of them in her presence. She couldn’t even imagine how such a big man could be so swift in his movements. It looked as if he had been killing monsters for his entire life. It was also relaxing to watch him do all the ordinary things to prepare for the night that she usually did. A strange feeling of belonging and peace gathered around the arteries and veins of her heart. She felt her heartbeat decreasing, pumping calmly inside her chest.

She observed him as he arrived at the altar, picked up one of those metal plates that were used during the ceremony and went back to where he had decided to make the fireplace, next to one of windows. He slid it under the pieces of wood that he had prepared, before lighting it up with one of the matches. Till gently blew onto the fire, the smoke coming out of it getting dragged out from the cracks in the glass of the window, so that it wouldn’t intoxicate them. He really had thought it out very well. He seemed to be born for that kind of world they were in.

“Du…you believe?” the man asked her.

“I believe there’s…someone or something.” She replied, standing up to go sit next to their small fireplace. The heat coming from it slowly warming her up. The tip of her fingernails were very cold.

“Does it give you…hope?” Till asked again. He felt like talking, which was a good thing.

“Yes. Somehow. But I’m not the kind of person that went to church every Sunday. That was my mother.” Till nodded, and looked down to his wound. It was time to take care of his bandage, and he started to take off the old piece of fabric. Benedetta immediately got up to go and help him, but he stopped her with a gesture of his hand. “Nein. Ich werde es machen.” The girl widened her arms and surrendered. She saw him take out the last piece of table cloth that was left after taking off the old one, cleaning his wound with some of the water and medicate it up again. She didn’t need to ask him if he was feeling better; he was clearly demonstrating her that he was getting better by the hour.

“So,” She said. “What did you do? I mean, before…this.” She decided that it was the moment to finally ask him something about him. That didn’t mean he would have told her everything about his life, he seemed like a very shy and introvert person. Till didn’t expect that question, and was taken by surprise. He sighed, tying the new bandage on his leg.

“You say it, first.” Benedetta let out a small laugh, and crossed her legs in front of the fire.

“Okay, okay.” She took out the Marlboro and checked the pack. There were two cigarettes left, and offered one to him, that gladly took it. She lit it up from the fire, and started smoking. “I was…living here in Germany with my family and my…man. I don’t like to call him my boyfriend. I worked in hotels. He was…an artist.” Till nodded.

“Artist?”

“Comic book artist.”

“Interessant.” Till admitted.

“Yeah, he was.”

“Was?” the man asked. “Ist er tot?” the question left her a bit disoriented.

“I…I don’t know.”

“Ach…” Till immediately understood her. “Entschuldigung. Sorry.”

“No, don’t be.” The truth was that she didn’t know. She didn’t know if her man was really dead. “Death…is a part of this world now. I got quickly used to it.” Till agreed with her. Death had arrogantly taken over everything. Including his life.

“Vater? Mutter?”

“I lost them.”

“Ach ich bin so schlecht.”

“Stop it, really.” Benedetta shrugged. “It happened more than a year ago. My mother was the first to go.” Till felt very bad for asking  about her family. He had always thought to have a delicate soul, with all his poems and his writing. Yet, he wasn’t quite proving that at the moment.

“Und Vater?”

“He…died protecting me.” She said without even thinking. She felt her eyes filling up with tears, and swallowed hard. The scene of her father dying was immediately front of her eyes, as he let himself be devoured so that she could escape from the zombies that had attacked them. She could hear the noise of the flesh being torn. He hadn’t even screamed as he was sacrificing himself. That’s how tough and strong he had been, for all his life. She took a moment to bury her face between her hands, and breathed deeply. All of a sudden she felt Till’s big hand on her shoulder. He was gently gripping onto her, trying to reassure her.

“It’s…okay now.” He tried to say, almost in a whisper. She lifted her face, and looked at the fire for a second, wiping her eyes.

“Yeah. I guess.” She replied, trying to smile. A moment of silence engulfed them. The only sound they could hear was the fire burning and Retter’s peaceful breathing. Benedetta threw the finished cigarette into the flames, and shyly looked at Till. “Well I guess now it’s your turn.”

Till scratched the back of his head, then embraced his knees with his arms. The sentences started to form in his mind as he tried to think about what to say.

“I…had a band.”

“You were a musician?”

“Ja.” He continued. “Ich…I wrote songs.”

“Oh, you were the singer?”

“Singer…” Till laughed. “That’s…a big word.”

“Were you famous?” Till didn’t exactly know what to tell her. The _old world_ didn’t exist anymore, so there was no use in talking about it or even remembering it.

“So und so.”

“Try me.” She asked. He was a calming presence, and hearing him talk made her bad memories go away for a while. “What was your band’s name?”

“…Rammstein.” That name struck something in both of them. Till hadn’t pronounced it for so long now, and it felt weird and pleasantly strange to have that word on his lips again. Benedetta, on her part, started to remember something.

“Oh my God. That’s why I thought your face was familiar.”

“Warum?”

“My man. He had a poster in his room, a black and white picture of your band. And…CDs, that he kept in the car.” Till smiled.

“Have you…listened to our music?”

“Sometimes. Actually…” She said, and remembered. She had done more than listening to their music. She felt her cheeks blush, as she nervously touched her ribcage, under the heart. “Can I…can I show you something? I don’t want to freak you out though. Okay, maybe it’s…not the case.”

“No,” Till said, curious. “Was ist das?” Benedetta sighed. She didn’t want to pass as the crazy fan. After all, she wasn’t that much of a fan in the _old world._ Still, as she had read some of the lyrics that her boyfriend had shown her, something had really caught her attention. She thought they were deep, they were almost poems to her eyes. Having the man that had written them in front of her was the last thing she would have expected from that situation. She didn’t have anything to lose though. Till looked at her expectantly. She took off her jacket, and pulled up the shirt just enough to show her bare, white skin. She turned so that he could look at it in the light of the flames, the heat gently touching her body made a shiver run down her spine. Or maybe, it was the feeling of being looked at by _that_ guy that made a shiver go through her.

“Kann ich…?” Till asked pointing at her, shyly.

“Come closer? Erm, yeah. Sure.” Till slowly got close to her so he could see better. There was a sentence tattooed on her ribcage, inside a clock with a broken glass. He felt a smile appearing onto his lips as he read out loud.

“Reise Reise, Seemann Reise. Jeder tut’s auf seiner Weise.” He said. The girl nodded, as she kept on blushing and let down her shirt, dressing herself. “Reise Reise.”

“Yes. It…reminds me to stand up, always.” She added. “It was…an helpful motto, I’d say.” Till had seen thousands of tattoos about Rammstein, in every part of a body on which a tattoo can be. Hell, he had seen his face tattooed everywhere. Her tattoo though, was one of the most poetic ones he had ever seen. _Besides Nele’s._

“Das ist wunderschön.” Till said. He really meant it. “I…like that album too. It…had some meaning for us.” Benedetta blushed visibly, even the light coming from the fire couldn’t hide that. She bit her lips, and shrugged. She felt butterflies in her stomach, like she hadn’t felt them for a very long time. “I would autograph it for you. If I had a…a marker, doch.” Her tension was relieved by a shy laugh that she let out. He laughed too, thinking about how stupid what he had said was. But still, it had made her laugh.

“I bet you autographed a lot of boobs back then.”

“Und Ärsche auch.” Till smiled again. He felt his heart was a tad bit lighter. There still was a huge stone on his chest, but he actually felt that the girl’s laughter was capable of making him feel slightly better. He didn’t know why, but he remembered about the book by James Barrie, Peter Pan. The first baby crying, and its laughter skipping into a million pieces, creating fairies. He knew that book by heart, for all the times he had read it to her daughter as she was little.

“I’ve never met someone famous before. I didn’t know it would take a deadly virus outbreak for that.” Benedetta said. She adjusted herself on the wooden floor to assume a nice position to take some sleep. They were safe enough inside of that place, so that both of them could rest for the night. “Anyways, you’re a good writer. Just wanted to let you know that.”

“Danke Fraulein.” Till leant on the wall next to the window, taking out his weapons from his belt and putting them next to him.

“Till?”

“Ja.”

“I don’t know if this is an appropriate question but,” Benedetta asked, resting her head on an elbow as she looked at him, “Your daughter.”

“Nele.” His daughter’s name escaped from his lips, almost as if he could had not been able to hold it in.

“Nele. How is she?”

That question landed on him like a stone thrown from a catapult. He wasn’t ready for that.

“You…you will meet her. At the Castle.” He lied. He didn’t know why. It just felt like the right thing to do.

“Alright.” She somehow understood that there was something going on with his daughter. She decided to let it go, taking the hint. She let her head down on her jacket, that she was using as he pillow. “How many days left of walking?”

“Sleep.” He jokingly ordered, with a smile.

“Okay, okay.” She replied. “Sleep well, Till.”

He nodded. He didn’t know if he was even going to close his eyes. He had to stay awake and watch over her. He just had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanks to everybody for the love you keep showing me. It really matters, I mean it from the deepest part of my tiny little heart.  
> Love,  
>  _-mareavera_


	7. Wolfpack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your loneliness will not bring her back.” Richard said, making the tension explode. Till couldn’t hold himself anymore.

**_Raised by wolves_ **

**_Stronger than fear_ **

**_If I open my eyes,_ **

**_You disappear._ **

****

_Ten days before._

****

_“Till?”_

_The German man didn’t even stop as he heard his name called. He kept on looking for bullets and arrows in the poor armory of the Castle, trying not to forget anything he would need. He felt a hand on his shoulders and looked at him: it was Flake’s thin figure. Behind him were the other members of his former band. They all had the same worried and questioning expression on their face, so he decided to give them a bit of attention so that they would stop bothering him._

_“Ja.”_

_“Where are you going?” Christoph asked, his eyes caught by the weapons that their friend was preparing._

_“Away. I can’t stay. I need to go.” His words cut deep through each and everyone of them._

_“I don’t think being alone right now is the best thing for you.” Richard said, arms crossed on his chest._

_“Halt deine Klappe, Richard.”_

_“Stop treating him badly, it’s none of our fault.” Flake said. Saying he was worried was an understatement._

_“I know. As a matter of fact, it’s my fault.”_

_“You’re not yourself. You should really-“_

_“Don’t tell me what I should do.” Till snapped, freeing himself from the grip on his arm. Flake had tried to stop him, without any luck._

_“Dietrich we know how you feel.”_

_“Nein, Christoph. You still have your family. I don’t have it anymore.”_

_“We are each other’s family. We have always been! Why can’t you get that?” Oliver said, annoyed. He kind of felt hurt that Till didn’t think of them as a family. Blood didn’t mean anything to Oliver. He couldn’t even say that he understood what his friend was feeling, but it killed him to see him that way._

_“Schluss. I’m going hunting. I will bring back something useful for everybody, so no one is going to stop me. If I’m lucky I can get a deer or-”_

_“WE are going to stop you.” Paul took the crossbow from his hands, and with decision slammed it down on the bench where Till’s stuff was._

_“Paul…” he didn’t want to fight them. At all._

_“It’s not safe. If you’re going, then let us come with you.”_

_“Nein. Ich muss allein gehen. Ich will…allein gehen.”_

_“Your loneliness will not bring her back.” Richard said, making the tension explode. Till couldn’t hold himself anymore. He turned around in a second to confront the smaller man. He pushed his head against his, the two looking like bulls fighting head to head. He pushed his forehead against Richard’s, who sustained his stare without holding back. He didn’t even blink. He just needed to resist for a few more seconds. He almost heard the sound of Till’s fists clenching. He saw his jaw getting rigid, he saw how he was doing his best not to punch him in the face for what he had said. He could feel it in the air that was between them, and could see how red and tried from the tears his eyes were._

_“WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT BEING LEFT ALONE? WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT DEATH, KRUSPE?!” Till was out of his mind. He shouted in Richard’s face, and the others gathered around to make sure that nobody would get hurt, getting ready to intervene if things got out of control. “NELE DIED BECAUSE OF ME! SHE DIED BECAUSE I WASN’T WITH HER! I COULD HAVE STOPPED IT, I KNOW I COULD!”_

_“MAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD TOO NOW TILL!” Richard replied, angrily. “We all lost somebody in this fucking situation, we all mourned with you, but we’re not going to let you put yourself in danger because of the pain you’re feeling!” Till breathed in and out very fast. Richard could feel his friend’s heart accelerating in his ribcage. “I cannot even explain how I would feel if Khira died. Christoph, Flake and Paul feel the same about their own families. But we all think that you cannot give up on your life. Not right now. Nele wouldn’t want that.” Till stopped looking at Richard, and just went on with his getting ready. He hated to think that they were right. Nele loved life. And Nele wouldn’t definitely want him to go alone among bad people trying to survive and zombies just for the sake of being alone. She wouldn’t want him to die for the pain of losing her. He remembered her last words. ‘Let me go’. He wasn’t sure to be ready to do that yet._

_“Listen to me, please.” Till sat down taking one of his arrows and fiddling with it. “I need to leave for some time. You know me, it’s just who I am. I cannot be around people in the state I’m in.” The others listened. Paul slipped an arm around his shoulders, trying to make him feel that they were all there for him. “It will do me good, I swear. I will come back as new. Well…not new, but at least a bit patched up.” Christoph gave him a pat on the back._

_“You’re one of the only people with some sense in their head in this place.” Flake said. “But you can go.”_

_“WAS?” the other four men said it at the same time._

_“Christian…”_

_“Don’t call me Christian.” He answered with decision. He turned his eyes at Till, that was holding his stare as he sat on the bench next to Christoph. “Till…you’re going on one condition.”_

_“Condition?” Till didn’t like it one bit, but decided to give him his attention. “I just want to go hunting for a few days, that’s it.”_

_“I’m not finished.” Flake replied, without losing his temper. Till turned down his gaze for a second. “You can go. We will give you a week. If you’re not back in seven days, we will come searching for you.” Till listened, and opened his mouth to say something. Still, he decided to keep quiet and think about it for a second. It was fair, after all. Oliver was right, they were his family. They had always been. So the least he could do was not making them worry about him._

_“Okay.” Till said with a sigh. The others felt a bit relieved, despite still being worried about him. They constantly worried about each other. That’s how they had made it through in all these years. That’s how they were going to make it through those awful times. Paul gave Till the crossbow back. “Danke.”_

_“We’re escorting you at the gates.” Paul said, standing up. He pointed a finger at Till. “No complaints.”_

_After ten minutes they were out of the Castle and at the gates. The day was chilly, the sun coming out the white clouds above their heads. The six men were standing in front of the only way out, the sentinels had already been warned about Till’s departure. A moment of silence descended upon them as they stood in front of the tall metal wall. From the top of the hill on which it was, the Castle and its towers watched over them._

_“Update us with your walkie talkie while you’re still close.” Richard said, his arms around Till’s neck in an embrace. Till patted him on his back with a half smile._

_“Granted.”_

_“Bring back something good.” Flake firmly shook hands with him, pulling Till in for a hug. “Find yourself and bring it back to us. We need you.” He said to Till’s ear. The other four took turns in saying bye. Christoph looked the most worried, Oliver the saddest. Paul, instead, felt a mix of feelings that were between extreme preoccupation and faith in his friend and his skills._

_The small group waved as he went on to cross the gate. As soon as he had stepped out into the nature, Till felt better. Still, he owed his return to his friends and ‘brothers’. He felt the soft dirt under his steps and started walking, going through the woods._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Rammstein all together, as we get deeper into the story. Hope you liked it. As usual, I love you and thank you all!


	8. Waidmanns Heil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You heard it?” she asked him again, whispering. Till nodded without saying a single word, and in a moment he picked her up from her hips to put her on Retter’s back.

**_She sees a million stars_ **

**_like holes in the sky_ **

**_All God’s tears for her they cry_ **

**_And I am in her rain._ **

****

****

 

“Stop. Moving.”

They were still in the woods as Till stopped the horse. Benedetta immediately looked around, knife in a hand and Glock in the other. She turned her head at Till, that was pointing at something in the woods right towards her. She slowly followed his finger with her sight and squeezed her eyes to see better. She tried to stay still as she realized what was in front of them: between the trees, silently eating from the ground, was a very small female deer. Its fur had the characteristic brownish and orange color, and it was peacefully nibbing on the moss that grew at the base of the trees around it. Benedetta felt a smile climb onto her lips as she observed the animal. Still, she hadn’t had meat for a while now. Her mind was struggling between hunger and the peace that that deer was giving her just by looking at it. She looked at Till, hopeful that he would guide her and decide what was best. Till leant for a moment on Retter’s neck, and shook his head. He made the gesture of throwing an arrow, and the girl understood. He had told her that he had left his hunting crossbow somewhere, so wasting their few ammo on a deer wouldn’t have been the best decision at all.

Then Benedetta accidentally stepped on a leaf on the ground; it took less than a second for the deer to notice and immediately pull up its head, before starting to run through the woods in the direction opposite to theirs. Till laughed at the girl’s clumsiness, as he looked at her face. She looked guilty, like a baby caught with its hands in a cookie jar. For the first time in days, he had a genuine, hearty laugh. And he mentally thanked her for that.

“What’s so funny?” she asked him, her cheeks visibly red.

“Practice, patience.” He replied, as he made Retter walk again. “You will need that for hunting.”

“I’m sorry.” She said, still embarrassed.

“Kein Problem.” He said again. “When I get my weapon back, I will teach you.”

Benedetta smiled shyly, and put her knife back into her belt.

"Can you remember where you left your crossbow?" 

"Ja." Till answered, thoughtful. "It's...where I hurt my leg." 

"Where then?"

"A warehouse. On the...road back to the Castle." Benedetta listened as her new friend spoke. She had no idea of what was around the farm, because she had lived there for almost a year. Everything was new to her, and she was glad that he was there guiding her to a place that looked like the best starting point for a new life. 

"Can we stop for a minute?" She asked, sheepishly, as she sat down on a fallen tree on the side of the path they were on. "My back and feet hurt." Till worried instantly about her. He mounted off Retter as fast as he could, and limped towards her as the horse followed him. Puzzled, Benedetta looked at him. "What are you doing? I just asked you to stop for a while. Get back on the saddle, Till. You're still not-"

"Shush!" Till replied. She wouldn't have expected that. "You talk too much." Benedetta blushed as he cupped his hands to make a step so that she could mount on the horse. 

"But your leg..."

"I am recovering. See?" He opened his arms and lifted the wounded leg up. He still felt pain, but he surely didn't want her to know that. She needed rest too. "Jetzt, Pferd. Schnell!" Till encouraged her, lending her a hand to stand up. He made that fuzzy feeling in her chest burst every time he did something nice for her. It was good to have someone to look after you. And it was good to have someone to take care of. She used Till’s help to get on the horse holding onto its hair. She gave a pat on Retter’s neck and the animal answered with a content sigh.  

The pair carried their walk through the forest. The air around them was damp, the fog starting to raise from the ground. Benedetta had to admit to herself that taking a rest from all that walking was good. The saddle on which she was sitting seemed like a sofa at the moment. She was just really worried about how Till’s thigh would react. During those three days of walking they had taken turns in medicating it, even fighting about it in a mix of German and English. Till didn’t want her to babysit him anymore, because he had regained his vitality and could do everything by himself. On the other hand, he felt bad for showing how independent he had become in such a small amount of time, and decided to let himself be cured. It was probably because he was still afraid of human contact that he wanted to provide for himself. Every time her small fingers touched his skin he felt his stomach twirl, but pleasantly. It was a nice sensation to have, and he would have liked it to stay the same forever. He had begun to enjoy those days in her company, he couldn’t wait for her to meet the others but also felt a very deep jealousy inside his heart.

“How many days to the Castle?” she asked.

“We are…halfway.” Till replied, as he held onto the horse’s reins to walk. Benedetta breathed deeply.

“I really hope that we are getting closer by the day. We’re almost out of food.” After she had said that, Till had opened his mouth to say something before decisively stopping Retter from walking because he had seen that something was wrong. Everything happened in a moment: with a metallic and loud noise, something snapped in front of them, making the horse so skittish that Till had to pull him down with all his strength to make sure that he calmed down. Unfortunately, Benedetta hadn’t expected that, and had fallen from Retter’s back onto the ground.

“SHIT!” she exclaimed, as she laid on the ground, mud spattered all over her. “What was that?!” Till took a second to observe the thing in front of them: it was a bear trap, and they had been lucky enough to avoid it. His hunter skills had surely come in handy. He walked around Retter to get to the girl, that was massaging her back.

“You hurt?” he worried, looking at her.

“No.” She replied. “I’m just a bit sore, but I can walk.” He helped her to get up, but freezed as soon as she was standing. Benedetta looked around, her senses aware of the surroundings. She heard voices from the distance, and they seemed to be getting closer. Humans. Still, they didn’t know if they were good or bad humans.

“You heard it?” she asked him again, whispering. Till nodded without saying a single word, and in a moment he picked her up from her hips to put her on Retter’s back. After that, he tried to get on the horse as fast as he could, the wounded leg pulsating with pain, sitting on front of her on the saddle. He got a hold of the reins, and felt a shiver run down his back as she held onto him from behind so she would not fall. He collected himself and tightened his legs around Retter kicking him with his heels to make him run through the forest. They were in potential danger, and all of his senses were concentrated on taking them both away from it. He wasn’t even that good of a horse rider, but he gathered all of his skills to take them somewhere safe. He made the horse turn and started running through the woods, trying to take the opposite direction of the voices they had heard. The voices seemed to become more and more by the second, signalling that there was more than one person there with them. The horse’s breath mixed with his, Benedetta’s grip on his abdomen becoming tighter and tighter. They arrived at a plain between the trees, and immediately got hold of the five zombies that were in front of them. Benedetta took out Till’s machete, grabbing it from the side of his right leg.

“Bring me closer, so I can get them and we can go through!” she screamed, with decision.

The girl swinged the machete and hit the zombies in the head, and they went down like pins in a bowling alley. One of them was still alive and had almost reached them, but Till managed to kick it in the head. There was no time to lose, they had to keep running. Retter's breath set the rhythm for theirs as they avoided fallen trees and heard the voices getting all around them. To Benedetta it seemed to be still in one of her nightmares. She tightened her grip around Till, and felt her heart pumping with fear. The German man did all his best to keep calm, feeling all the responsibilities on his shoulders. He had to make sure she stayed safe. It was a chance given from above to make it right, to make sure that what had happened with Nele didn't happen to her. He was there, he was her hope. He couldn't disappoint her, because she counted on him, and he could feel it through her fingers trembling around his stomach. They arrived at another clearing in the forest, the pale sun finally appearing in the sky; undead walkers were going towards them with their awful groans. Till didn’t have the lucidity to count them, but they were too many for them. Benedetta took out her Glock pistol and started shooting as precise as possible and succeeded in taking down a couple of them. Till couldn’t do the same since his gun was out of ammunition. All of a sudden they heard a very loud noise, like a shot fired from a very powerful shotgun. Everything happened very fast: Retter got too scared and reared, making Benedetta fall again on the ground. Till managed to fall on the ground on the other side, so he would not fall on her. Thankfully he was still holding one of the horse’s reins, so he couldn’t run away. The girl had already stood up, shooting all the zombies she could, that were getting closer by the second. His head was buzzing, his sight was blurring like when he had fallen from the fence into the farm. The leg was pulsating, everything in his body was screaming from help, and it took him a few seconds to realize what was going on. He turned his head looking for the girl, and slowly started to focus the zombie that was about to get to her.

“TILL! HILF MIR!” he heard her shout. Till stood up, grabbing the machete that was still dripping black blood in the grass next to him, and he also let go of Retter, that started galloping through the woods. He just knew that it was the right thing to do, because he had become impossible to hold back. He went running towards Benedetta, that was keeping the zombie at distance with her leg pushing into its chest. He powerfully slid his blade into the monster’s head, making it harmless for Benedetta, that kicked it backwards.

“Bist du verlezt?!” he lent her a hand, so she would stand up. She didn’t let go of his hand, as she fought to get her balance back. He worried as he saw her touching her back.

“It’s nothing,” she replied, as she was still out of breath because of her fall. “It’s…WATCH OUT!” she raised the hand that was still holding the Glock, shooting in the head the zombie that was right behind Till. The German man’s heart skipped a beat, and worried because he hadn’t heard the monster coming.

“Let’s go now. Where’s Retter?”

“I let him go.”

“WHAT?! HE WAS OUR ONLY CHANCE TO GET AWAY!” she freaked out, pushing Till on his massive chest, even though she didn’t even make him move of a single step. “HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID?!”

“CALM DOWN!” he replied, taking her by her shoulders. “We’ll make it!” the groans from more zombies approaching made them turn their heads at once. There were five of them coming. They didn’t even know where they came from, but they seemed to be multiplying themselves.

“Gun, GUN!” Till took the gun out of her hands and started shooting. He was the most clear headed of the two of them, and could still shoot straight. Benedetta couldn’t move. She hadn’t felt that much fear in a long time. Even Till’s presence next to her couldn’t make her think straight. She felt like giving up, like letting go of herself and let the monsters get to her. She felt Till grabbing her arm, and came back to reality. In that moment she heard a gun fire, and felt an excruciating pain in her right arm. She fell on her knees, and instinctively brought Till down with her. The shooting was going on, and the zombies in front of them were dropping like flies. The man noticed her bleeding arm, and touched it.

“Stay down, DOWN!” she told him, as they avoided getting shot.

“You okay?!” he said, as his face was almost on the ground.

“Yes…I think, it just sideswiped me.” She breathed deeply, and saw the blood on her arm. It hurt, but she had been lucky. The shooting had stopped, and even the voices had stopped. She heard steps coming towards them, and stayed perfectly stil. “Till…don’t move.” She whispered to him. Till saw in front of him, and got a hold of the men running towards them. There were six of them. And he had never seen them before.

“Wir haben etwas gefunden, eh?” One of them said, with a creepy grin on his face. Till could only take a look at the machine gun in his hands.

“Intruders.” Someone else said. He saw him crouching and getting in front of Benedetta. Till tried to stand up and stop him, but the one in front of him immediately pointed the gun at him. The man in front of the girl was now taking her face with his fingers.

“Oh, look how he cares for his girlfriend.” The man said with a deep, emotionless laugh. “Let’s go. We have some things to talk about.”


	9. In der Dunkelheit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I hope you speak English. If not, I don’t really care.” He has a thick British accent. I look up at him, without any sign of fear. He needs to understand that I’m not afraid of him. “Who are you?”

**_Seid ihr bereit?_ **

**_Seid ihr soweit?_ **

**_Wilkommen_ **

**_In der Dunkelheit._ **

****

****

 

_It’s quite dark in here. There’s…just a ray of light filtering through the dirty curtain of a very small window. I really cannot understand where I am. They have covered our heads with a bag so we couldn’t see where we were going. I haven’t been punched in the face yet, and I think we should call it a success. The only thing that is scaring me beyond every limit is that Benedetta isn’t here. They have divided us…they’re smarter than I thought._

_I hear the door open and the only lightbulb in the room flicks on, making my eyes squeeze in pain. It takes me a moment to see that three people have entered the room. Two of them look like twins, with shaved heads and piercings everywhere. But the one that gets most of my attention is the one between them. The English guy that had dared to even touch Benedetta as they had found us in the forest. He has tattoos on his neck, very short blonde hair. He’s quite big, but not as big as I am. Still, he towers over me since I am kneeling on the floor, my hands tied tightly in front of me, on my lap.  I decide to be smart and do not move as he gets closer. He grabs the only chair that is in the room and sits in front of me. I’d love to wipe that stupid smirk off his face. He sits with his fingers crossed, brass knucles on his right hand. I glance at them and see the dried blood on it, and I swallow hard._

_“I hope you speak English. If not, I don’t really care.” He has a thick British accent. I look up at him, without any sign of fear. He needs to understand that I’m not afraid of him. “Who are you?”_

_“Wo ist sie?” I can almost not finish talking that one of the other two guys hits me with the shotgun’s handle in the face. I almost lose my balance, and feel the pain burning in my left cheek. It really hurt._

_“You don’t get to ask the questions.” The English guy replies, stopping the other two with a gesture of his hand. “Who. Are. You.”_

_“Till. My name…is Till.” I reply. The man opens his arms, satisfied._

_“See? It wasn’t that hard. Hello Till. My name is William.” He replies, with a gesture of his hand as if he was taking his hat off. “Where do you come from, Till?”I stay silent. I cannot tell them about the Castle. It’s the first rule of our group. “Where.” One of the guys starts to get closer, but he stops him._

_“It’s far. Ten days walk.”_

_“The name.” His face is terribly close to mine, and I can hear the stench of his breath. It smells like blood. He kicks me on my wounded leg, and I hold in a loud scream that I feel coming from my bowels. This motherfucker…_

_“A farm…IT’S A FARM!” as I say these words, the British man smiles. I don’t know if he’ll believe it. But it’s true, since it’s where we were coming from as they found us._

_"Let me explain you how it works here." The man stared at me, two dark brown eyes planted in mine. "Once we have gotten everything that's possible from you, we'll decide what to do. Information is what makes this world go round. Information useful to get more and more power." I listen in silence, realizing that it would be stupid to react. I have to stay alive. "We'll do the same with your girlfriend. I think you should let her go though, you’re so fucking old for her. What are you, a pedophile?"_

_"Was ich bin für sie...it's not your business." I hiss between my teeth. I couldn't keep it in, and the punishment arrives soon after: he grabs my hair and pulls my head back, staring down at me._

_"You're a tough guy, I get that." He pulls harder, but I hold his gaze. "But I suggest you to cooperate, because it wouldn't take me nothing to just slit your throat. Or hers, for all I care." I feel my spine tremble for a second. He mustn't see my fear. "You'll tell us about your community, we'll get there, kill whoever opposes us and get everything they have. And then we'll carry on. Until there's no one else but us. That's how it works. I'll come back in a few hours, to let you think about it." He finally lets me go, and stands up. He goes for the door, and his gorillas follow him._

_"Just to let you know," he adds, turning his head with a demonic smile. "We're all men. I wonder what could happen if I let the guys in without my surveillance." he lets an awful laugh out, and the noise of the door closing makes by bones shake with fear and anger._

_"Schweine. Sie sind Schweine." I mutter, as they are already out of the door and cannot hear me. I cannot even bang my fists against the wall since I have them tied. I don't know what to do. I wonder how many days have passed, how many chances I have to survive. I look at the window, and see that there's a very small black curtain. Maybe I can think of something. I stand up as I curse for the pain. I feel the blood in my mouth, and stick my finger in it. It's extremely difficult to do this with my hands like that. I think of a word, one that could strike something in whoever the hell passes by this place. There’s hope in me, I don’t even know why. I feel the hope I have in my brothers burn like an almost dying candle inside of me. My bloody finger slides on the glass, writing from the right: R E I H. Hier. I hope it will be visible enough. I limp, and go sitting down next to the wall, hoping that she's on the other side. Hope. That’s all I have left. Hope in her. Hope that she’ll make it through, hope she’ll resist. I can’t afford to lose her. She’s part of my life now, and she deserves to be in it. She saved my life in so many ways._

_I go back to the center of the room, making as little noise as it’s possible. I kneel again, my body heavily falls down. I sigh, and bury my face in my hands._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little Till's POV chapter to ease your pain. Surely it won't ease Till's pain...thanks everybody for being so faithful and so kind to me. Hold on for just a little more!   
> Love you all.


	10. Ich tu dir weh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s your name?”
> 
> “Why should I tell you?”
> 
> “Because I’m politely asking you, that’s why.” He replied, coming closer and looking down at her. There it was again: that scary shiver down her spine.

**_Nur für mich bist du am Leben_ **

**_Ich steck dir Orden ins Gesicht_ **

**_Du bist mir ganz und gar ergeben_ **

**_Du liebst mich, denn ich lieb dich nicht._ **

****

 

She was laying down in a fetal position. The cold and the hardness of the pavement didn’t matter that much at the moment. The tears had stopped streaming down her cheeks a while ago now, and she felt the skin on her face being dry and dirty. She heard some noises in the dark, probably coming from outside or from other parts of the building. Benedetta was alone, once again. These days of bliss and peace she had spent with Till, with somebody to talk to and to take care of seemed to be over. She didn’t even know if he was alive, because the last time she had seen him he was been taken away into another room at least six hours earlier. To stay awake she had tried to count the seconds, that’s how she knew how much time had passed. She couldn’t afford to lose herself. The images of Michele and his green eyes, of his father, of Till…she felt they were the best people to think of, the people that had given her strength. And _faith._

The door opened slowly, and three men appeared. She heard them talk, and one of them told the others to stay out of the room. He flicked the light on, but she didn’t even bother to make him see she was afraid. She heard his steps, and felt his stare upon her. The thing that scared her the most was when she heard a deep and creepy laugh come out of him.

“Stop being a baby, and look at me.” He provoked her. His thick British accent cut through her like a knife. She decided to pull herself up, sitting with crossed legs in front of him. Her hands were tied in front of her with a rope, very tight. It was making her wrists hurt. “Now that’s better. Hello there.”

“Hello?”

“What’s your name?”

“Why should I tell you?”

“Because I’m politely asking you, that’s why.” He replied, coming closer and looking down at her. There it was again: that scary shiver down her spine.

“Benedetta.”

“What an exotic name.”

“Thanks, I guess.” She said, trying to sound the least sarcastic. She didn’t want to test the guy’s limits. He seemed to be scary enough as he was. His features were made even more terrifying by the faint light in the room.

“Tell me what is up with you and the German gorilla. Why are you traveling with him?”

“Is he alive?”

“Huh-uh” the British man replied, shaking his head. “No questions, just answers.”

Benedetta was incredibly bothered by that man. She would have liked to give him a headbutt, he annoyed her so much. He was playing with her like a toy, and she didn’t like it one bit.

“So?” he asked her again. “Is it just because he has a big cock? Because I can assure you that my cock is bigger.” He disgusted her. She looked down for a moment, but he grabbed her face with his filthy fingers and forced her to look up at him.

“We were…we were traveling. He hurt his leg, I helped him.” It was actually a half truth. She truly hoped he couldn’t read minds.

“That is so cute, it makes me puke.”

“I wish you would have left us with the zombies.” She hissed between her teeth, as she looked him in the eyes. Benedetta didn’t know where that insolence came from. It had come out her head and out of her tired heart, probably. He quickly grabbed her by her neck, pulling her up with a massive strength she couldn’t imagine that he had. She felt her breath dying, her eyes squeezing, all of her muscles getting tense.

“Come with me, then.” He whispered to her ear, getting so close to her that she could feel her breath on her cheeks. He let her neck go, and reached for her hair. He was holding her so tight she felt like crying from the pain. He pulled her with him, as they got out of the door. The two men outside looked surprised.

“Where are you going?”

“SHUT UP!” the man shouted, and carried on walking as Benedetta kept her screams of pain inside. She kept her jaw clenched, closing her eyes, trying to think of something else. “I’m going to give this bitch what she asked for.” They kept on going through the corridor, that looked endless. It was dark, enlightened from time to time by the dying lightbulbs on the roof. They reached for a final, bigger door, and William pushed it open as he kept on dragging Benedetta behind him. They were finally outside, the pale sunlight making her eyes squeeze in pain. There was a rusty metal gate in front of them, guards on their sides. The bars of the gate were wide enough for a hand to pass, even for a face. William pushed Benedetta towards the metal, with anger. Her head hurting like hell from the impact, and felt her sight blur for a second. It was when she heard the moans of a zombie getting closer that she finally woke up. It was coming right towards her, she could almost see the saliva run down its rotten chin. She felt her heart pumping as fast as it could, the fear starting to raise and take over her own body. She tried to escape the man’s grip on her head, but he was just too strong for her.

“NO PLEASE! LET ME GO! PLEASE!” she shouted with all of her breath. William kept her face attached to the metal bars. It was hurting the bone under her face’s skin.

“WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO LEAVE YOU THERE WITH THEM? WOULD YOU?” he shouted back, as the zombies got dangerously closer to her. It was a matter of centimeters now.

“NO! NO PLEASE!!” she shouted again, closing her eyes.

“Say you’re grateful. Say you’re grateful that we haven’t left you there. Say you’ll tell us everything. SAY IT!”

“OKAY!! OKAY I WILL! I WILL TELL YOU…I will tell you EVERYTHING! I’m…I’m…GRATEFUL!” she replied, her voice at a very high pitch due to the fear. She was pulled back and thrown on the ground, as William took out his knife. He got closer to the gate and stuck his metal weapon in the zombie’s forehead. It collapsed to the ground, lifeless. A moment of silence came down on the building, and the British man looked down at the girl. He took a deep breath and adjusted his blonde hair, before pulling her up again in his usual rude manner.

“Let me go, let m-me go…” she cried in pain, not able to hold the pain and the tears anymore. He kept on dragging her down the hallway, until they stopped in front of a door. William opened it with his other hand, revealing a dark room. It wasn’t empty though: there was somebody on the floor, that immediately lifted his back up and looked at the scene. Till.

“There you go.” William pushed Benedetta inside the room, and she fell on the pavement, hurting her knees. “Don’t say I’m not merciful. This could be your last night on Earth, so I’ll let you spend it with this…this thing you love so much.” The British man mocked them, and Till would have liked to stand up and just get to his neck with his bare hands. He worried about the girl next to him, that cried softly and stayed down. As if she was afraid to do something that would make the British man even angrier. “We’re leaving for your community, tomorrow morning. You’ll lead us there, and we’ll do as we please. Sleep tight, darling. And don’t get too tired.” He smiled, then laughed evilly. Then he turned around and left the room, shutting the door behind him and leaving the pair in the dark.

Till got closer to the girl, that was crying both in physical and emotional pain. He wished to hug her and get her into her arms, but they were tied and he couldn’t do anything. He decided to lift up his arms, and engulf her small body in the tight space that was left. He opened them as much as he could, and let her sneak in, her face in contact with his chest. As soon as she had felt her arms around her, she broke down crying.

“He…he alm-m-most had me k-killed…”

“Shh…” he replied, leaving a long kiss on her forehead. “You…you are safe.”

“Will…will we die?” she lifted her head up, looking at him. He couldn’t almost recognize her. In that moment, he couldn’t see her strong and fierce soul. He knew it was there, but now she was just giving in. Giving in to the pain, to the tears, to the weakness. The best he could do was keeping her close, promising to himself once again that he would never let anyone hurt the ones he loved again.

“Nein.” He looked her in the eyes, his forehead on hers. “Du wirst leben. Wir werden leben. We…will make it.” Till looked at the tears falling from her tired eyes. He followed their tracks down her bruised cheeks, wishing he could have done something to make her pain stop. “Have…have faith in me.”

He tried to force a smile on his lips, hoping it would still make some warmth flow in her. She looked so beautiful when she smiled, and it hurt him deep inside to see her like that. He had to get her out. He gazed at the window on which he had written that word of help, and his thoughts went to his only family left in the world. He knew they were after him. He just knew it. They were coming. To take him and Benedetta away, to rescue them, to get them to the new life they would have built together. Until then, he had to make sure she survived. He brought her closer, her skin frozen against the cold pavement. He didn’t know why, but he instinctively started whispering, singing softly.

“Reise reise, Seemann Reise…und die Wellen weinen leise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as usual to everyone who keeps on sticking with me! Things are getting by a little slower, only to prepare for the next chapters. How long, and how will Till (and the others!) get them out of this situation? You'll find out soon enough...:)


	11. Führe mich

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Let’s see if we can get closer. We need to check before making something stupid.” The others nodded at Flake’s proposal. After all, if the track they had followed had lead them there it surely was for a reason.

**_F_ ** **_ühre mich_ **

**_Halte mich_ **

**_Ich_ ** **_fühle dich_ **

**_Ich verlass dich nicht._ **

****

****

Richard kept on walking in the forest, making as little noise as it was possible. He was swift and silent, as Till had taught him. Dawn had just come, and the forest was starting to wake up with its usual noises. Richard lead the others, that followed him closely. He was really trying his best not to smoke, and he was very nervous. He kept one of his throwing knives at hand, reaching from time to time to the gun on his left leg. Their rescue trip had gone on for five days now, and all of them were getting definitely tired. Still, no one wanted to stop until they found Till. The best thing that had happened was two days before: as they had closely followed the track, they had ended up in an abandoned warehouse. That was where Paul and Oliver had found them: Till’s crossbow and fishing canes. They were hidden, carefully enrolled in a piece of fabric, behind a fallen piece of armed cement. They thought that he must have left everything there so he could travel on faster, but why? Was he hurt? Was he running from something? The important thing though, was that it was the confirmation that they were on the right path to find him. Everybody had screamed with joy as they had made the discovery, and of course they had a small fight when the moment came to decide who was to use Till’s crossbow.

“I’m the best at hunting with hit because Till has taught me, so I’ll use it.” Richard had said, taking the crossbow from Paul’s hands. The smaller man had glared at him, holding onto the weapon.

“Till wouldn’t give you his crossbow not even if you begged for it.”

“Heiko, don’t make me angry.”

“Kinder…” Flake had come between them from behind, taking the crossbow out of both their hands, taking advantage of his own taller stature. “No one is going to use the crossbow. Your own weapons will do good, and by the way we’re giving it back to Till as soon as we find him.” Paul and Richard had rolled their eyes, not happy with Flake’s decision. The former keyboardist had then worn the crossbow on his back, so he could carry it better. And that had settled the matter once and for all, as Ollie and Christoph had giggled while preparing for the night.

They were all walking behind Richard, using their ten eyes to check the surroundings hoping to avoid any possible danger. Aside from a few zombies they had succeeded in killing silently – Paul and Ollie had taken care of them using their long hunting knives, - the area was clear. They hadn’t encountered any human, and they were in a new area, a new forest they had never explored before. The day before they had arrived at a gate, and had found a light brown horse peacefully eating the grass on the ground. At first the animal had been scared by them, but as Christoph had slowly approached him the horse had become quite friendly. It meant that he had probably belonged to someone, seeing as he still had the saddle on. They had even entered the gate, taking a tour of the farm ensuring that no one was there. They were sure that the track they had followed lead there, and they were quite disappointed at the fact that he wasn’t there. Richard had been the most disappointed of the group, angrily throwing his knives at the door of the farm’s main building. The others had tried to calm him down, because if they had arrived there it was only for his tracking skills. He couldn’t give himself peace, so he went around the farm until he could find the right path: he had actually found, engraved in the ground due to the continuous alternance between sun and rain of the past days, the track of a horse walking and of a person next to it. The fact that a horse was at the farm probably meant it had come back after something had happened to its owner. And Richard had truly hoped that the owner, if it was Till, was doing fine. So, with their hearts filled again with hope, they had left the farm much to Christoph’s and Paul’s dislike, that had really enjoyed cuddling the horse for that day.

That was how they had gotten to the woods where they were at the moment. They had never visited it before, even during their exploring trip. Or maybe they had just passed through it as they had gone looking for supplies.

Suddenly though, Richard had stopped the group by raising his arm. His eyes were squeezed to see better, and he crouched behind a tree so he could not be seen at eye level. The others behind him did the same.

“What is it?” Paul whispered to his ear. He was right behind him.

“There’s a building, over there,” Richard pointed right towards them, “About three hundred metres far. Can you see it?” The other four men looked in the direction in which Richard’s finger was indicating. There it was, a square looking old building, but it really wasn’t that distinguishable among the trees and the leaves. It was painted in a dark green colour, probably to hide it better at the sight of the unexpert people. Or to hide it from intruders. Flake came forward from the group, and took the binoculars out of his backpack, taking a look then passing it on to Paul and the others. The place seemed to be quiet at first, but after a couple of seconds a man with a machine gun at hand had made his appearance as it was Christoph’s turn to use the binoculars, right where the entrance to the facility seemed to be.

“It’s guarded. There’s only a man for now, but there could be more.” Christoph said, lending the object to Oliver.

“Let’s see if we can get closer. We need to check before making something stupid.” The others nodded at Flake’s proposal. After all, if the track they had followed had lead them there it surely was for a reason. They decided to stay down and walk that way for another hundred meters, so they could take a closer look at the building. Richard stopped again, and the other four gathered around to use the binocular again. They could definitely see better this time, and Oliver started looking around very carefully. Another guard had gotten out of the building to reunite with the man they had seen before, but there seemed to be no one else yet. His sight had analysed every corner of the building, until..

“Arschloch. Everybody look. There, that tiny window on the left.” He had to fight with himself to keep his voice volume down. With a shaking hand he had passed the binoculars to Christoph that was on his left, throwing an arm around his neck and pointing to where he had seen _it._ Christoph widened his eyes and passed the binoculars to the others who could finally see. There was a word written on the window. And it was written in blood. There was no doubt that that word was there for them. H I E R.

“You son of a bitch.” Richard had exclaimed, biting his lips so hard because of the happiness and the adrenaline that had started to rush through his body. “That is so like him. It’s him, I’m sure.”

“Always the drama type.” Flake had admitted, as an incontrollable smile had climbed onto his lips. Still, he managed to keep calm, and try to make the others use their brain. “It could definitely be a sign from Till. We can’t just go in there and kill everybody though.”

“Why not?” the other four had said together. They looked at each other, a look in their eyes that signalled how much they were still connected even after all these years.

“Don’t be stupid. I want to save Till too, but we have to be careful. So we’ll split in two teams and try to get in as smoothly as possible. Verstanden?” he looked at Richard and thought of his throwing knives. “I think it’s time to use the crossbow.” Paul’s eyes had lit up. Finally. Flake took the crossbow out of his backpack and after thinking about it for a couple of seconds gave it to Paul. Richard rolled his eyes, but knew that Paul was actually the best at using it after Till. For the sake of the group he decided not to complain. Hiding behind a very big tree, the four men gathered closer to think the plan out.

“Paul, you are going to take out the one at the entrance. Richard is going to take care of him if he doesn’t give up at first.” At those words, Richard passed a hand on one of his throwing knives, with some kind of lust rushing through his veins. “I will go on the other side with Christoph to check the perimeter, and Oliver is going to back you guys up.” Flake attached the silencer to his semi automatic gun, and Christoph nodded. Without even noticing they took a deep breath at the same time. “Alles gut?”

“Ja,” Christoph answered. “Let’s do this.” Oliver loaded his machine gun and shared a look with Christoph. Then they all turned around and went on to their duty. Richard and Oliver followed Paul, as he quickly and silently made his way between the bushes and the fog that had appeared around them. Thankfully, it seemed like the forest was actually helping them in succeeding. They arrived at fourty metres from the gate, where the unknowing guard was walking. He had the hood of his sweatshirt up, and could limit his sight. Paul carefully placed the arrow on the crossbow, and took a very deep breath. He closed his eyes for a second and thought of all the times he had gone hunting with Till. He aimed at the guy’s neck, through the bars of the gate. After a second, the noise of the arrow’s tip passing through the guard’s skin filled the air. He choked, letting go of his gun, that fell on the ground. The blood came out of the hole that had opened in his flesh, flowing on his skin as he desperately tried to speak. After a few seconds, his body fell down on the concrete, lifeless. Before making any movement, Paul, Richard and Oliver waited a couple of seconds. Silence. They shared a look and went on, closer to the metallic enclosure.

“Good shot.” Richard admitted to Paul, as he looked for the pincers in his backpack. Paul smirked, and kept on looking around. The place seemed to be too quiet for them. In the meantime, Flake and Christoph came back from the other side of the fence, as Richard busied himself trying to break the lock that was keeping the gate closed.

“Nobody. There are zombies inside the fence, probably some sort of…alarm system.” Christoph said, checking on his machine gun. In that moment, Richard succeeded in breaking the lock, and the small group of men went inside the fence. The noises of the forest waking up around them were suddendly interrupted. The men freezed as they saw the door of the building on their left open with a creak. A man appeared on the doorway, and didn’t realize at first that there were strangers in front of him. He tried to reach for the gun on his right leg, but Richard was quicker: he took out one of his knives, and threw it at his left thigh in less than three seconds.

“SCHEISSE!” the man screamed, falling on his knees. The pain started to take over him, but he didn’t give up. He tried to crawl back inside, and reached again for the gun but Christoph was already towering over him, one of his feet squashing his hurt leg.

“Don’t make this hard.” Christoph said. He made the man turn on his back, and pointed the gun to his face as the others gathered around. “It didn’t go too well for your friend.” The man on the ground glanced at his dead colleague. He was lying down in a puddle of his own blood. His eyes widened with fear.

“Who are you?! What do you want from me?!”

“Don’t be a coward, come on.” Richard said, crouching next to his face, a hand on the knife that was stuck into his thigh. “Why is this place empty?”

“They…they…”

“You can do it.”

“They…will you l-let me go if I t-tell y-you?” he stuttered, as a cold sweat started to drip down on his forehead.

“Have you seen a big man, with green eyes, taken inside here?” Richard asked, expectantly. His hearbeat started to raise by the second.

“Big m-man? G-german man? D-dark hair?”

“Christ. That’s him.”

“Yes! Till, that his name. Till. Have you heard him say his name?”

“N-no…b-but I was g-guarding the other p-person that was with him.” The others looked at each other, puzzled. Till was alone as he had left the Castle. Who was he with?

“Are they here? Where are they?” Oliver asked.

“I d-don’t know…”

Richard pushed the knife deeper in the man’s flesh, that screamed.

“RICHARD!” Flake glared at him, ordering him to stop torturing that man.

“SAG UNS ALLES!” Richard yelled, the man breathing with difficulty due to the panic state he was in.

“THEY LEFT! EVERYBODY LEFT!” the man on the ground replied, touching his leg, his hands begging Richard to stop. “T-they have t-taken the g-g-girl and the big man, and…and-d they’re g-going to find the m-man’s community. S-so…that our p-p-people can t-take o-ver it.” As he said it, the man on the ground was enlightned with craziness. He knew what his group was going to do, he knew everything. “Twenty…twenty men. T-there’s n-no hope. And t-then…they’re g-going to kill the m-man. And…the girl. Yeah…”

“The girl?” Christoph and Paul looked at each other.

“The community…” Oliver and Flake whispered.

“They…they are coming to the Castle.” Richard said, with a feeble voice. "...Till needs us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm spending the next week in Berlin, finally! Vacation time has arrived for me as well. As usual, thanks everybody for the kind reviews and for your genuine excitement, and prepare to stick with our heroes!   
> Thanks for the love, as always. 
> 
> \- mareavera


	12. Stirb nicht von mir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There you go. Have a taste of my magnanimity.” William replied. “You have ten minutes. Get your ideas together Fill, Gill, Rill or whatever your name is.” Till glared at William, not afraid to stand tall. His cheek was still swollen, his jaw hurt.

**_Alle Häuser sind verschneit_ **

**_Und in den Fenstern Kerzenlicht_ **

**_Dort liegen sie zu zweit_ **

**_Und ich_ **

**_Ich warte nur auf dich._ **

****

The machine gun pushed against Benedetta’s back. She walked on, without a word; she knew it was best not to complain and just do as she was told. The group had been going through the forest for three hours now. They had left before dawn, probably around 3 or 4 in the morning. The moment in which her and Till had been awakened by their persecutors had been one of the worst of her life: two of William’s men had stormed in the room, waking them up; then one of them had kicked Till in the stomach, making him groan in pain. She had heard him curse something in German, but before she could even ask him if he was alright. During that night without dreams and mostly without sleep, Till’s presence next to her had been the only thing that had kept her from going insane. His deep breaths in the darkness of the hovel in which they were trapped made her realize that she was alive, after all. If constantly fearing for your life and for your mental sanity was called living.

Till was walking in front of her, his hands still tied with a rope. William was next to him, his gun constantly pointing at him. The German man was quiet, his green eyes fixed on the path. He wanted to turn his head around, to check on Benedetta, but he definitely couldn’t do that, or he would have put her in danger. If that had to be his last hours on Earth, he wanted to make sure that Benedetta wouldn’t die because of his stupidity. She had to live. He was fighting against his will to jump on William and tear his head off with his own teeth. He was keeping the demon inside of him quiet. The fire inside wasn’t dying, buti t surely was hard to keep it quiet. After all, he still hoped that the rest of his _family_ would find them. And he had faith in the fact that William wouldn’t attack the Castle: he hoped that as soon as they had reached it, he would have been facing its vastness and wondering if their group of twenty mercenaries could actually make it. That would have given his community the time to think of something and organize their defense, giving him and Benedetta more…time to live.

“Hey, Nazi.” William told Till. “How long does it take from here?” the head of the group made everyone stop walking. The men around took the time to rest for a little, killing the three or four zombies that had followed them. Till took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment before answering.

“Half…half an hour.”

“You know that if you’re not leading us to your…how did you call it? That…Castle,” William continued, pinching Benedetta’s cheek with his hands, “You’re not going to make it out alive?” Benedetta swallowed and moved away her head. She tried to stay strong, so that Till wouldn’t get too worried.

“Ja.” Till nodded. “But…please. Make her rest. A moment.” He looked at Benedetta. The girl widened her eyes, that filled with tears. All that walking had made her exhausted, yes, but she didn’t want Till to get too exposed for her. She didn’t deserve his concern. William looked at her, and pushed her down on the ground from one of her shoulders.

“There you go. Have a taste of my magnanimity.” William replied. “You have ten minutes. Get your ideas together Fill, Gill, Rill or whatever your name is.” Till glared at William, not afraid to stand tall. His cheek was still swollen, his jaw hurt. Benedetta had some bruises on her face and on her arms as well, but she didn’t look that bad to his eyes. The only thing that was visible in her was all her fear. She was catching her breath, sitting down on the wet grass. Her feet hurt, everything in her body hurt. But Till had momentarily saved her life by not letting her give up out of exhaustion. She looked up at him with all of her gratitude, and mouthed something.

“Thank you.”

“Sei nicht traurig.” _Don’t be sad._

After those ten minutes had passed, William came back to them.

“Up.” He pulled Benedetta up without any kindness, and pushed her forward. “You got your wish, German. Now lead us.”

Till started walking again, with William next to him. He didn’t want to admit that he was feeling awfully tired. His wounded leg still hurt, and he hissed from time to time to contain the pain. He tried to get some kind of comfort from the nature around him, as if the sight of the trees and the sound of the wind blowing among the leaves were telling him to hold on. He gathered all of his strength for _her._ He thought of Nele, he thought of Benedetta. He thought of Richard, Oliver, Paul, Christoph and Flake. They were all pushing him through. Every step towards the Castle hurt. He didn’t want his community to collapse because of him.

The rumble of a thunder echoed over their heads. Dark clouds filled with rain were closing in. They were getting closer by the minute, and the trees were starting to be less numerous, leaving out a piece of the sky above them. With his hands still tied, Till pointed up, in the distance.

“Hey.” He tried to get William’s attention. “Da. Schloss.”

William looked up, squeezing his eyes to see better. Towers. Big, white towers. He could see them.

“Good job. Let’s get to that fucking castle.”

 

* * *

 

The car’s engine roared in the forest. Oliver and Christoph had taken the rusty old pickup from the back of the building, after taking out the three zombies that were guarding it. That car was their best chance to get to the group that was holding Till hostage, before things would go downhill. The five of them had jumped in the car, taking the man they had injured with them: they put him with hands and feet tied in the back of the pickup, and had to stand his moans and his promises of vengeance. That was until Richard made Christoph stop the car, getting out of it slamming the door. He had taken out one of his knives, and was pointing it under the man’s chin.

“Your only chance to survive lays only in our friend’s life. If he’s alive, you’ll live. If he’s dead, you’ll die.” Richard whispered, getting closer to the man’s face, his breath smelling of alcohol. “Don’t make me stop this car again, or you won’t make it out alive.” The man breathed in and out very fast. He was surely feeling the threats from Richard, that had a very strange and dangerous light in his clear eyes. There was something about them though; he wasn’t just driven by anger, he was also controlled by pain and worry. The blue of his pupils was darkened by those emotions, as he let the man and went back to sit in the car as the others watched in silence.

“Geh. Schnell, wir mussen kein Zeit verloren.”

Paul had noticed the state Richard was in, and turned around to look at their prisoner. He was definitely quieter.

“Reesh...”

“I said go.”

“You need to calm down.” Christoph said, as he started driving again. “I get that you’re nervous, but-“

“I don’t need your advice, Doom.” Richard sat back on the passenger’s seat, putting the knife back with a mechanical gesture. Paul sighed, and shook his head. Flake, from behind, put a hand on Richard’s shoulder.

“We need you to be focused for when we get to these people.” Flake said, in a very calm voice that was still filled with worry. “Don’t lose yourself just now.”

“They have Till. I’m just worried.”

“We all are. Don’t think you’re the only one who cares.” Oliver said. Richard turned around and glared at him, but Oliver didn’t even mind that.

“That goes for you too Oli.” Flake looked at the younger man, who looked down to his hands. “Zusammen. Das ist…Wie wir es machen werden.”

Richard sighed. Paul held for a moment onto Oliver’s arm, making him feel his presence. Oliver nodded, with a weak, half smile from behind his now grown beard.

The car went on for a little more, until they heard a deep and loud noise. The car jumped up on the driver’s side before falling down on the ground again, and the five men looked at each other, worried.

“I’ll check on it.” Christoph said, getting out of the car. Richard sighed, brushing his hands on his face, his dirty fingers scratching the beard.

“Hope we didn’t lose a tire.” Oliver said, looking out his window, down at Christoph who was checking on the wheels. They had just went over a couple of undead and the corpse of a deer. The car’s wheels had crushed the monster’s heads, and a gushy, organic matter was now spread on the tire. Christoph made sure not to touch that stuff, with a smirk of disgust on his face.

“Hey.” Flake said, as he looked in the rearview mirror on Richard’s side.

“What?”

“That idiot is trying to run away.”

Richard immediately looked out of his window, and with fury immediately got out the car. Their prisoner had clumsily fallen out of the back of the pickup onto the ground, and was crawling and trying to get on his feet. He was trying to go beyond the pain in his leg, pushing himself forward with his feet because he still had his hands tied. Richard rolled his eyes, and with heavy steps walked quickly towards him.

“You…you won’t…you won’t get m-SHIT YOU MOTHERFUCKER!”

Richard, without saying a word, had kicked the man in the stomach, before stomping his foot on his ankle. Christoph looked out, and ran to Richard. The other four got out of the car to look at what was happening, and Paul ran to him too.

“You are one thickheaded asshole.” Richard hissed, anger rising in his voice. He crouched, taking his neck between his fingers. He squeezed them around the man’s skin, about to choke him.

“Richard, stop.”

“He’s not cooperating, so he’s not useful to us.”

“Richard.”

Richard stared at the man’s eyes, that seemed to be popping out of their orbits.

“REESH!”

Richard felt a solid grip on his shoulders, and turned around to look at his friends. Paul was holding onto him, Christoph was pulling Richard’s hands away from the man’s neck. The man breathed caught his breath again, with some sort of asthma taking possession of him. His face was red with effort of breathing, the air heavily flowing in and out of his lungs and of his mouth. Richard sat down on the ground, taking fast and anxious breaths. Paul’s hand was still firmly on his shoulder.

“Reesh, he needs to be alive. So that we can exchange him for Till.”

“They…they don’t care about Till. I bet they…they don’t care about this motherfucker either.” Richard said with a feeble voice. All of the aggression had seemed to have left his body. Christoph, Paul and Oliver watched over him with concern in their eyes.

“We will get him back. I swear.” Flake’s voice made Richard pull up his face from the ground. He looked up to his older friend, and felt his eyes filling with a layer of angry tears. He clenched his jaw and nodded. Flake ruffled Richard’s hair with extreme kindness.

“Tut mir leid.”

Christoph helped Richard to get up lending him a hand. Then the two of them pulled up their prisoner and forced him to stand, so that he could walk towards the rusty pickup. The sounds of nature surrounded them, as the familiar drizzle of that German region started falling on them.

“I’ll stay behind with him. I don’t mind the rain.” The others nodded as Richard said that. They got back into the car, and started going through the forest again. The prisoner had withdrawn in one of the corners of the back of the pickup, looking down at his bloody leg. Richard could swear he had seen him tremble for a moment, and an evil smile climbed onto his lips for a moment, before his thoughts would go back to Till. And he couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d have done to the people that had taken his friend. He also thought about _the girl._ Who was she? His questions would have been answered in a short time: in the distance, in the grey sky, he could see the tall towers of the Neuschwanstein Castle. _Their Castle._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, it has really taken me ages to update this story! But yeah, I graduated, I went on a one week vacation to Berlin (I miss it already, I can't believe it's been a month...), I found a job...and most importantly, I have seen Rammstein live at Gods of Metal in Italy, the VERY FIRST gig on their 2016 tour! All the emotions they have given me have surely helped to get back to this story, that I really love and that you guys seem to really love, so...there you go, I promise the next update won't take this long. Thank you, thank you from the depths of my tiny little heart for all the support and the love you give me. <3  
> \- mareavera


	13. Ich muss zerstören

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I get to the gates with the German and the girl. You go around the fence, and take out every sentinel.” At these words, Till lifted his gaze. He was sitting on a fallen tree, not far from Benedetta. The girl also pulled up her face, and with a scared expression looked at her friend. “If this guy is important, maybe they’ll let us in. If he’s not,” William then looked at Till, “We get in anyway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter came out from my fingers like a river, and I had a lot of feelings as I wrote it.  
> Enjoy it, and leave a comment if you want. <3 
> 
> -mareavera

**_Ich nehme eure Siebensachen_ **

**_Werde sie zunichte machen_ **

**_Zersägen, zerlegen_ **

**_Nicht fragen zerschlagen._ **

****

 

The towers of Neuschwanstein were still magnificent. Magnificent despite the world crisis, despite the virus, despite the monsters, despite the fall of society. It seemed like nothing had happened to this monument, that had endured the centuries up until that moment. There were a few clouds touching the tips of the towers, and a soft and not too bothering rain had started to fall down on the region from the grey sky. The metal gate had been built all around the base of the hill on which the castle was, from the members of Till’s community, and the only entrance were the original gates of the old castle, that were at the top of a not so long road that went up the hill. Till, with his daughter Nele, had joined the community of the Castle not long after the spread of the virus, together with Richard, Oliver, Paul, Flake, Christoph and their families. At the time he had arrived, they were still putting up some parts of the fence. Many times he had gotten in and out of the Castle, searching for food, searching for anything they might need to make himself useful. It was very strange to come to its feet with hands tied and his body hurt and still in pain.

The group was still in the forest, hiding under the leaves, about two hundred metres from the fence. William didn’t need to ask Till if their community had a surveillance system, with sentinels going along the gate, because he already knew. So he just decided to stay there and organize for a while. From down there, the main entrance gate was visible in the distance. One of his men handed him their binocular, so he could see better: there was a walker unsuccessfully trying to get inside with its face squeezed against the metal, and a sentinel that was slowly walking up the gate’s perimeter to patrol it, walking back up the hill. It was a man in his thirties, with long brown hair and a growing beard. He wasn’t paying that much attention to what was happening around. William then looked up at the main gate: it was big and conveyed a sense of magnificence. There were more than five guards patroling it, but he could only see their shapes. He looked around some more: on the side of the road leading up was a huge field that clearly looked like a graveyard, a small truck, and a couple of women holding their children’s hands as they walked. Nothing too worry about. Yet, that place looked like a perfect starting point to survive and organize a better life than in that dismissed building in which they had lived for too long.

“I get to the gates with the German and the girl. You go around the fence, and take out every sentinel.” At these words, Till lifted his gaze. He was sitting on a fallen tree, not far from Benedetta. The girl also pulled up her face, and with a scared expression looked at her friend. “If this guy is important, maybe they’ll let us in. If he’s not,” William then looked at Till, “We get in anyway.” A shiver ran down Benedetta’s spine. She was completely exahusted, and she almost didn’t feel lik she was herself. She felt dirt and sweat on her face, and she looked at Till. He looked even more tired than she was. Most of all though, he looked worried. He looked around, trying to keep his temper and trying not to look scared. A thunder echoed in the sky, so loud it almost felt like everything around was falling. Even William’s men looked around, holding tighter onto their weapons.

“Come on, babygirl. It’s time.” William grabbed Benedetta by the back of her shirt, and forced her to stand up. Till got the hint and stood up as well, immediately. “Good boy.” The British man continued, as he smirked in Till’s direction. William pointed his gun at him, signalling him to come closer. “Eyes open, lads. I want this castle by sunset.” The other nineteen men divided themselves into small groups, so they could go around the gate better. In the meantime, the rain had started to fall harder, with cold and heavy drops.

“There are more than…than fifteen men guarding the fence, if I remember right.” Till advised William, as he pushed the gun on his back to make him walk. He wasn’t trying to give him an advice, but was actually hoping he would scare him and make him rethink their assault. William scoffed, as he slowly made Benedetta and Till walk in front of him.

“We’re hungry. Hungry men make an excellent and ruthless army.” At that sentence, Benedetta bit her bruised lower lip and looked at Till. She was desperately trying to have faith in him. But it was definitely hard at that point. All of a sudden, as they were about to leave the forest, they heard a thud, muffled by the mud on the ground. Then, they heard William’s men confusingly talking between themselves. William turned his head immediately, without taking the gun away from Till’s back. He could only see one of his mates lying face down on the ground. He waved a hand, and one of the others that were close to the man lying on the ground immediately ran to him, with his machine gun at hand.

“What the fuck just happened?!” William said between his teeth. “Did he faint or what?”

“He…he’s dead. There’s…there’s a knife planted on his fucking back.”

Till’s eyes lit up. He couldn’t move because of the gun pointed at him. He took advantage of William talking to the other man, and mouthed something to Benedetta: _hold on._ Benedetta looked puzzled. Why did she have to hold on? Did Till know something she didn’t know?

“A knife? Are you kidding me?” he grabbed the man’s shirt and pulled him closer.

“A knife! A fucking knife I’m tell..tell..ing..”

He couldn’t finish the sentence. William looked directly into his eyes, and could see them losing their life. The pupils were losing their vitality, and could feel his entire weight onto his hands as he kept on holding him. Blood fell out his mouth as he fell on the ground, his body contorting itself like a marionette. William let him go, looking with horror at him. He kicked him so he would fall on his stomach, and saw a knife. Planted onto his back, where the heart was. A killer shot.

“DON’T YOU FUCKING MOVE!” he shouted, pointing the gun again towards Till. “I DON’T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH KILLING YOU OR THIS BITCH, SO YOU BETTER NOT MOVE!” Till immobilized himself. He looked at the knife in the man’s back, and felt tears of joy in his eyes. He smiled at Benedetta, like he had never done before. He looked through the trees, scanning for a sign; and there it was. Hidden behind a tree, invisible to those who had an untrained sight. Two white eyes in the darkness, a finger on the lips that was like saying _be quiet._

“BOSS! BOSS IT’S PHIL! HE’S WOUNDED AND HE’S COMING TOWARDS US!”

William turned to his men, and looked in the distance as Phil, one of his men was limping badly towards them. What was he doing there? How could he be there if he had been left to guard their place? _What the hell was happening?_

“IT’S A TRAP! THESE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY MANIACS! CHIEF, I…”

The limping man’s head was penetrated by an arrow. An arrow that went straight through his brain, coming out from between his eyes. A small fountain of blood came from the hole in his face, as he fell on his knees into a puddle in the forest.

“WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!” William shouted, pushing Till away with a kick on his lower back, as he started to shoot his gun in the distance. He couldn’t see anything because of the pouring rain. He just hoped to get one of these people that had dared to attack his group. Till immediately looked at Benedetta.

“LAUF! LAUF BENEDETTA!” Till shouted at her, as he took the moment: he stood up, and used his tied hands to punch William in the head. The British man got hit so hard he let go of the handgun, letting out a curse. William grabbed Till’s legs with all of his strength and pulled, making him fall in the mud with him. Benedetta was in shock as she started hearing shots fired very rapidly, so she dove on her knees to grab the knife that was stuck in the man’s back, to at least have something to defend herself. All of a sudden, a smoke bomb had been thrown among William’s men: nobody could see a thing. She stayed down to avoid any possible bullet, and looked around to see if she could do anything. She was worrying like crazy: Till and William were fighting in the mud, with the German man using his fists as a hammer to hit William, that was answering with very hard punches to Till’s body and face. She kept on hearing a mix of gunshots and screams: people were fighting and dying, desperately trying to save themselves from that sudden menace. She suffered as Till’s eyebrow started bleeding, as he tried to get up on the slippery ground with William furiously keeping him down. She tried to see if she could take the gun that had fallen in the mud, but she couldn’t. The rain was getting stronger by the minute.

“Go, I SAID GO! WAS MACHTS DU NOCH HIER?” Till repeated as he kept on fighting. “GO!”

After a couple of seconds, William managed to throw his best punch to Till’s jaw. He really was a tough brawler. Till fell on one side, and William took the advantage; he rolled on top of him, as he kept on throwing punches. Till kicked William’s back with his knees, and swinged his arms and his tied hands on his right temple.

“YOU DON’T WANT TO GIVE UP, EH FUCKER?” William searched on his right leg: he found his small knife. As he was about to swing his hands to stab Till, he felt an excruciating pain on his right deltoid. He turned his head: Benedetta had somehow managed to get closer to the two men fighting, and had stabbed William. But like some sort of super villain, he didn’t even shout because of the pain. With the knife still firmly in his right hand, he quickly moved his arm to get to the girl. The man was quick enough: the knife swinged right on the girl’s side, wounding her. Benedetta screamed, and fell back on the ground. She touched her side, and felt the warmth of her own blood. William didn’t even mind to finish her, seeing as Till was now fighting with even more brutality, trying to get him off his chest.

“ZUM TEUFEL!” Till shouted at the top of his lungs, both of his fists colliding with William’s jaw from down under. The British man fell on Till’s left side, with his face in the mud and the knife still stuck into his deltoid. He almost looked knocked out, so Till used this moment to roll on his side, and use his forces to get up. He ran to the girl, that was trying to breathe as she sat on the ground.

“What did I tell you?! WHAT DID I TELL YOU?” Till, with hands still tied, took Benedetta’s face between his palms. He looked at her wound, he saw the blood coming out of her. It was something totally new to him, because in those days she had always endured everything, and he had never seen her bleed. He felt fear running through his veins. “WAS HAST DU GETAN? WARUM?” The girl looked him in his green and big eyes, as exhaustion made its way through her body. “Ich…”

“Till…” she said, with a weak but still hearable voice, “I’m fine...”

“Fine?! How can you be fine?! WAS SAGST DU?! Don’t…don’t worry, we’re close, there’s a doctor, there’s…”

In the meantime, her small hands could now take advantage of all the rain; with a little effort she could slip them out of the rope that was keeping them tied. With the strength remaining, she lifted her hands up and started to untie Till’s hands. The German man was now free.

“That bastard…he’s…he’s waking up!” she said, warning Till; William was actually starting to move very slowly in the mud. With one hand, then another, he was trying to stand up. Till pulled Benedetta’s face in, leaving a long kiss on her forehead and on her nose.

“Warte auf mich.” He whispered, as he stood up and turned to get to William. William had taken the knife out of his deltoid, and looked very dizzy. Still, he looked well enough to continue the fight.

“So now…I guess we’re even.” William said, as he wielded the knife in his hands. He immediately ran towards Till, who stopped the arm that was holding the knife immediately. The British man still had a lot of strength, despite having his face bruised by Till’s punches. With a groan William gave Till a headbutt that made him walk back a couple of steps, so that the British man could try another attack with his knife.

Benedetta watched impotently. She wanted to help Till, she wanted to fight. Suddenly, she felt two hands on her shoulders, and she screamed. Till was alarmed, and turned his head; so he couldn’t avoid William’s knife, that almost sank into his right arm: luckily, it just wounded him superficially.

“Who are you?! TILL! TILL!” Benedetta tried to shout, but her voice was almost fading. She was losing her strength with every minute passing.

“Hey, hey!” the small man tried to talk to the girl, hoping to make her calm down. “I’m one of the good guys. I’m a friend of Till’s.” it was Paul. He had blood all over his arms, and some spattered onto his face. Benedetta looked him in the eyes for a few seconds; they were clear, and sent her a sense of humanity. She didn’t know if she could trust him, though.

“You…you need to help HIM!” she told Paul, shaking. Paul looked up and saw as Till kept on fighting the man. It was Till. A slightly skinnier, but stronger version of his friend. A huge smile widened onto the smaller man’s lips.

“ICH BRAUCHE KEINE HILFE! SAVE HER PAUL!”

Till drove a right uppercut to William’s stomach wtih all of his frustration: the British man let go of the knife, and bent himself over. At that moment, the German man pulled a knee up to his face, feeling his body connecting with his nose, that he was sure to have broken.

“There are others of us that can help him, the sentinels from the castle are coming,” Paul tried to convince her. “You’re hurt. You’re wounded.”

“I don’t know you. I’m not…I’m not leaving…Till…”

“I’M NOT DYING UNTIL YOU DIE, YOU FUCKING DEVIL!”

It happened all so fast: William had taken out his spare handgun, that he had hidden in his boot, as he had bent down. With his face bleeding from the nose down, he pulled up his hand, almost in slow motion. Paul was sure to had seen him before Till; he ran towards the British man, tackling him down on the ground, and William’s finger pulled the trigger. The shot that was fired caught Paul’s shoulder, but the small man only let out a scream. Till caught his breath, and stomped on William’s hand, the one that was still holding the gun. He took it away from his hands, as the rain kept on falling. He pointed it William’s head with his left hand, his fingers trembling on the trigger. In the meantime, the others had joined him: Oliver, with a the group of sentinels from the Castle that had come to their aid, Cristoph and Flake had run towards them wielding their now empty weapons. Richard was the last one to come closer: he had quickly retrieved his throwing knives, that were still dripping blood onto his pants. He was breathing heavily as he had joined the others, all gathered around Till and the man that had been fighting near the end of the forest. Richard looked at Till, with a gun at hand. He was so happy to see him alive. Beaten, bloody, wounded…but alive. Their mission had been accomplished.

There could be heard no more shots. No more people screaming, only the rain falling above their heads. William was down, the boss was down. Even the few of his group that had survived had yielded, and were silently waiting for their destiny. William looked around: these men, their faces, their weapons pointed at him. He had no choice.

“Surrender.” Paul said, standing up and holding his shoulder. Christoph immediately checked on him to see if he was alright.

“And who…who the fuck…who the fuck are you?”

“SURRENDER.” Till continued, with the scariest and deepest voice he was capable of. That word had come like a roar out of his throat. He kept on pointing the gun at him, pushing onto his hand on the ground. The British man looked at him. There was fire in his eyes. Real fire. Like he had never seen in the eyes of a man.

“You’ll…you’ll have to…to kill me, big boy.” William breathed heavily. He knew he was playing with death. That’s what he wanted, actually. For the German man or one of his stupid companions to pull the trigger. “I bet…you never killed anybo-CHRIST ON A BIKE, OKAY! OKAY!! I’M DONE!”

Till had fired a shot into William’s shoulder. It wasn’t a vital spot, but it surely hurt like hell, like he knew very well. Then, he threw the gun on the ground, and quickly went to Benedetta, as his friends got closer around the two of them. Till crouched down, and took her bloody hands in his, bringing them up to his lips to leave a long kiss on them. Richard and Paul got down with him; Paul threw an arm around his big shoulders to make sure he wouldn’t fall from the extreme exhaustion, Richard ripped a piece of his shirt and pushed it on the girl’s wounded side as gently as he could. Till was bleeding from his right arm, and his eyebrow and lip were swollen and bled as well.  

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Benedetta slowly looked up, exhausted. Her sight wasn’t blurring, but she couldn’t see that well. “You…I don’t…feel…” the blood on her side was still there, there was a lot of it. Richard checked on it: it was bad, very bad. Yet, it could be fixed. It could be patched up and cured. He didn’t know who she was, but…she mattered to Till. That meant, she mattered to him as well.

“Don’t…don’t leave me. You are…du musst nicht…nicht mich verlassen.” He was feeling very tired. He kept holding onto her, but he just couldn’t take it anymore. He slowly fainted, his head falling onto Paul’s thigh, and his hands still holding onto the girl’s.

“Till…”she whispered, as she passed out onto Richard’s shoulder.


	14. Am Ende der Nacht

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That voice: it slowly arrived to his ears, and it sounded familiar, very familiar. A voice he knew very well. His sight slowly became clear, and he could finally see the person that was over him, gently touching his forehead to see if he had a temperature. Those piercing blue eyes, and that smell: smoke, and pines after the rain.

**_Ich warte auf dich_ **

**_Am Ende der Nacht._ **

****

 

He slowly started to feel something in every part of his body. A sensation of fire developed from the tip of his toes, and started running up his veins: his ankles, his calves, his thighs, his hips, his ribs – in which he felt a terrible pain, - his heart, his arms, his shoulders and his face. He heard the echo of steps, and he felt something touching his forehead. His sight was still blurred as he heard muffled sounds. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, and felt like suffocating. He started to breathe, as if he had never breathed before.

“DOKTOR! Doktor, er ist aufgewacht!”

That voice: it slowly arrived to his ears, and it sounded familiar, very familiar. A voice he knew very well. His sight slowly became clear, and he could finally see the person that was over him, gently touching his forehead to see if he had a temperature. Those piercing blue eyes, and that smell: smoke, and pines after the rain.

“Richard.” Till whispered: he slowly smiled, towards the man sitting now on the edge of his bed.

“Hallo.” Richard replied, moved. His lips widened in a big smile, one of his most heartfelt ones, of the smiles he reserved for special people and special occasions. He took one of Till’s hands into his, and squeezed it. Till was alive, and well. And he had finally woken up.

“The…the others?”

“We have been taking turns in staying here with you. All of us. Khira as well.”

“Where is…”

Till was interrupted by the doctor arriving. That man was the best kind of doctor their community could have found in that time of need. He got closer to Till’s bed, and smiled.

“Hello, Till. It’s good to see you awake.” Till slowly nodded at the doctor.

“How long…”

“Three days.” Richard answered for the doctor.

“Three?”

“You were exhausted by physical and mental pain. You were completely unconcious all the time. So, I have some news for you.”

“News…?” Till answered. The doctor let out a chuckle as he checked onto his patient’s body.

“Bad news, you have a broken rib, and one of your eyebrows is fractured as well. Your jaw is fine, but you better be careful with chewing for a while.” The doctor touched Till’s jaw, very softly: still, Till felt some pain inside of it. He tried to take a deep breath, but he almost screamed from the pain. Richard tried to calm him down, pushing him back down on the bed very gently.

“Und…good news?” Till sighed. He hated to feel all that pain and not be able to do anything about it. The doctor let out a chuckle.

“We patched up your leg, and your shoulders as you were unconscious. You’re lucky your thigh didn’t get infected, you cleaned it very well. They’ll heal in some time of course, but you’ll still have the scars.” Till wasn’t worried a bit about scars. His whole body was covered in scars, and they were now a part of him.

“Can I walk?”

“Ach, Till.” Richard scoffed, with a laugh.

“Yes, you can. But be careful. Have someone with you at all times.” The doctor smiled again at the two men, and gave a pat on Till’s good leg. “It’s good to have you back, hunter. I’ll go take care of the other injured people now.” The man left the two of them alone, going to check on the other men that were in the infirmary.

“Where…ACH! Where is…” Till hissed in pain as he tried to sit on the bed. His fractured rib was killing him. He was shirtless, and felt cold. As soon as he started shivering, Richard immediately took off his oversized black jacket and leant it on the bigger man’s frame. Till felt a bit better immediately. He felt incredibly tired, but Richard was exhausted as well: he had dark circles under his eyes, and his beard had grown, but his sharp facial features could still be seen.

“Danke.”

“No problem.”

“Reesh, I…Can we go to Benedetta now?” Till said her name with a bit of fear in his voice. Probably, he couldn’t see her because his sight still hadn’t restored completely. Or at least, that is what he hoped. 

“The girl?”

“What happened to her, Reesh?” Till had a very feeble voice as he asked that. It wasn’t something usual to hear him have that kind of voice. And Richard knew that.

“She’s…she was wounded far worse than you. But yeah,” Richard replied, standing up and lending Till a hand so he could stand up, “Let’s…let’s go see her. She’s in another room.” Till pushed his entire body up. He had felt a lot of physical pain in his life, but that was definitely worse than any of these times. The big German man stood up on his bare feet. He was shirtless, with a bandage on his shoulders and on his thigh. He threw an arm around Richard’s shoulders, and the two men started walking very slowly in the room. It was one of the most beautiful rooms in Neuschwanstein: the roof was beautifully decorated, and the pavement had black and white ceramic. Till and Richard passed by one, two, three beds. The infirmary was very quiet, and from the open windows they could hear what was happening in the courtyard. Till closed his eyes and took a deep breath – careful not to push too much onto his ribcage, - and closed his eyes for a minute. The scent of the trees came right through in. Richard and Till had to go down the huge flight of stairs that was right outside the infirmary room. They encountered a couple of people, men and women, that congratulated Till for coming back safely, and Richard for successfully planning the attack against the men that wanted to take the Castle. The hallways echoed with Richard and Till’s steps. Everything was almost silent, because most of the inhabitants were out, helping with the daily activities.

 “Ok. Here we are.”

Richard stopped Till in front of a huge opened door. They walked in, and Till immediately saw the big, now rusty bed of the bedroom. There was a middle aged woman standing in front of it, and she turned her head as soon as she heard them.

“Hallo. I knew you’d come.” She smiled at them, as they slowly came towards the bed. “You shouldn’t be here, she needs rest.”

“Nadine, please.” Till said, with almost begging eyes. “I just…I just wanted to see her.” Richard helped Till in trying to make her give up and let them stay there for a while. She took the bandages and the scissors that she had left on the bed, and put them in a metal box on the ground. Till immediately looked at Benedetta: she was lying on her back, sleeping peacefully. As soon as he got closer, he could see her lip still swollen, and her face still dirty.

“Don’t make too much noise.” Nadine gently caressed the girl’s cheek, before leaving. She patted Till on the back, and left them alone, her steps echoing in the tall roof of the room. Till tried to touch her, but Richard stopped him by placing a hand onto his back. “You need rest too, Till. Don’t stay too long.”

Till nodded, and smiled at the woman. Richard helped him sit on the edge of Benedetta’s bed. The two of them stayed in silence for a while. Till took Benedetta’s hand in his.

“She’s still unconscious. She…she lost a lot of blood.” Richard said. Till just couldn’t stop looking at her.

 “What happened? I mean…after I passed out.” Richard said next to his older friend, the big and rusty bed creaking under their weight.

“That guy you were fighting with had stabbed her on her right side.” Richard, with a hint of sadness into his voice and his eyes, pointed at Benedetta’s right side. Till gently pulled down the sheets covering her, because he wanted to see her wound: it had been freshly medicated, and it was all clean. He pulled the sheet back up, and sighed.

“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t…I shouldn’t have left her.”

“Don’t even say that. You were fighting against that guy for the both of you. You didn’t leave her, at all.”

“But she found a way to help me anyways, Richard. She stabbed him, she used her forces to try and stop him!” Till couldn’t get too much angry, because the pain in his ribcage would make him feel even worse. He spoke between closed teeth, trying to whisper.

“It’s not your fault. Listen to me.” Richard grabbed Till’s neck, and pushed his forehead against his. “She will be fine. She will take time to recover, but she will be fine. She’s alive, thanks to you.”

“She could have died, thanks to me.” Till whispered. He leant on Richard’s forehead, not being able to feel any rage. He actually felt disappointed in himself. It was like with Nele, all over again.

“Till. It’s not like…not like with Nele.”

“Of course it is.”

“No. Even with Nele…it wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault, no matter what you say, I know it wasn’t your fault. You need to give peace to yourself for that. Nele…she would want you to understand and realize you were a wonderful father to her. She didn’t die being angry at you. She died being grateful for all the things you’ve done for her. Even for being there in the moment she left us.” Richard was talking to Till in a way he hadn’t done for a while now. There were the two of them there, and he could be the one making him finally come to peace with what had happened with his daughter. A tear ran down Till’s bruised cheek. The pain for the loss of Nele hadn’t gone yet, he knew that.

“It’s just…that I cannot fail again. She…she helped me, Richard. She helped me cope with the pain for my daughter. She trusted me. She fed me, and cured me. She saved me, Reesh. In so many ways. She…she saved me.” Till broke into tears. Tears of pain. Tears he had been holding on for too much since Nele’s little funeral. The day his daughter died: that was the last moment in which he had given in to his emotions. And now, he was giving in again. It felt so liberating to let go of himself. Till’s cry was silent, but copious. The tears just flew out of his eyes, like a quiet river streaming in its bed. Richard watched. There was only one thing he was worried about, and he felt the need of telling it to his older friend.

"As long as you remember that she's not N-"

"I know that she's not Nele." Till smashed his fist down on the mattress, and Richard took his wrist with his hand. He knew he had struck a nerve.

"I can assure you, it's not your fault that something bad has happened to her, and it was not your fault that it went the way it did with Nele. Trust me. Believe me when I say that."

There was a moment of silence between the two German men. Till wiped his eyes with his palms, as soon as Richard hat let go of his wrist. Richard looked at the girl lying on the bed, and sighed. She had helped Till, for real. He wasn't the same man he had left days ago, he had to admit it. Despite his physical wounds, his spirit seemed to have come back stronger and more passionate than ever. He could see it in his green eyes. Somehow, Benedetta had helped him get back on his feet. He didn't know how, but she had helped her.

"Let's go now. It's no use staying here." Richard proposed.

"I want to stay with Benedetta."

"Nadine will come looking for you when she's awake, that's for sure." Richard tried to reassure Till to take him away. He knew he didn't want to leave Benedetta's side. "Come on now. Don't you want to see the others? They still don't know you're awake. Come, we'll make them a surprise. They’re on the balcony, they have taken the day off." It took a minute or two for Till to get out of his contemplation of the girl. He really didn’t want to go. But he had to admit to himself that Richard was right, so he decided to give in. He let out a deep sigh – feeling the same pain in his ribcage, - and brought the girl's small hand to his lips, and left a long and sweet kiss on it.

Richard stood up, and lent Till a hand. Till took one last look at her before finally turning his head away. He threw his arm around Richard’s shoulders again, and they slowly started walking again. They took the flight of stairs again, and made their way to one of the bedrooms in which their group had made their dormitory for them and their families. As soon as they entered, Till felt the voices of his brothers. One of them was laughing, and to Till it felt like one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. They were there, all of them: Flake, leaning onto the stone of the balcony, thinner than ever an with a long beard; Christoph, drinking a hot beverage and smiling. Oliver, that looked even taller, sitting on a wooden chair with crossed arms, shaking his head at the terrible joke that Paul had just said. And finally, Paul: standing, making some stupid gesture with his hands to accompany the joke he had just shared. Flake was the first one to notice Richard and Till, and widened a huge smile in their direction.

“Schau mal. Eri st zurück.” Flake said, as he walked towards him. Christoph immediately let down his cup and ran after Flake, Oliver stood up and did the same. Paul, with his bandaged shoulder, followed the others and lifted up his arms, as a sign of victory. A moment of joy.  

“Hallo, Brüderlein.” Till said, with a smile. He let go of Richard, and widened his arms to hug Flake. Till hissed with pain, but he didn’t mind it. After Flake, was Christoph’s turn.

“Welcome back. We missed you. We all did.” Christoph said, rubbing his hand on his back. The former drummer left a kiss on Till’s cheek.

“Oli.” Till had a huge smile for Oliver as well. The taller, younger man held him tight.

“You’re an inconsiderate man. You better not leave us anymore.” Oliver said, to which Till let out a laugh. The last one to say hello was Paul. Paul hugged Till, in silence. It was not usual coming from him. He just smiled, happily, as he embraced his friend. The shoulder hurt, but it was bearable, compared to the joy he had felt in his heart the moment he had seen Till coming through the door.

“How are you feeling?” Paul asked Till.

“Es geht. And you?”

“Es geht.” Paul laughed, nodding at his shoulder. “I’ve heard about the girl. But she’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, she’s…she’s a tough one.” Till sighed. Richard rubbed Till on the back, making him feel his presence next to him.

“What’s her name?” Flake asked. The group walked back on the balcony, and the chair was offered to Till, that gladly sit down.

“Benedetta.” Till said, brushing his hand through his hair. He took the moment to take a look at the majesty of the valley that could be seen from the balcony. Peaceful, with the river and the green hills around it, with the chilly weather slowly taking over and making him feel alive.

“Benedetta?” Oliver asked. “You know that’s Italian?”

“How do you know that’s Italian?” Paul looked at Oliver, puzzled.

“I know a lot of things.” Oliver replied, smiling and shrugging his shoulders. “By the way, it means ‘blessed’.”

“I’m an atheist, Oli. You know that.” Till mirrored his smile, and took the coffee cup that Christoph was offering him. “But…that’s interesting, I guess.”

“Where did you find her?” Flake asked.

“Ach,” Till replied, adjusting on the chair so his fractured rib wouldn’t hurt too much, and zipping up the jacket Richard had given him. “It’s a long story.”

“Well,” Richard replied, with a smile, “Wir haben Zeit.”

Till sighed, and shared a look with Richard, the one that knew the most about her. Then, he started telling them everything, from the beginning. As he told them how he had met her, how she had hosted him in her farm, how she had trusted him, he felt a warm feeling inside his heart.

And he felt like falling in love every time her name slipped out of his lips.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I totally imagined Richard's smell. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! We're going towards the end...so well, get ready for the final moments! <3  
> -mareavera


	15. Sie ist wunderschön

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I have also visited Nele. It’s difficult to find some flowers at the moment, so I gathered the best orange-ish leaves I could find and turned them into a crown. They’re still there, thanks to the cold sun that has graced us in the past days. I visit Nele every day. I sit there, and talk to her. I honestly don’t care if those around me think I’m crazy._

**_Wirf ein warmes Licht_ **

**_auf mein Ungesicht_ **

**_Sag mir ich bin nicht alleine._ **

****

 

_My wounds get better. I touch my face, and notice that my bruised face is slowly getting back to normal. I’ve gone back to living and sleeping in the old room, the one I shared with the other guys. I’m angry because the doctor doesn’t let me work, because of my fractured rib. So, I just pass the time helping in the lighter activities, spending some time with Richard’s and Christoph’s children. I love to be around kids, and they always look genuinely happy to be around their ‘Onkel Till’. I have also visited Nele. It’s difficult to find some flowers at the moment, so I gathered the best orange-ish leaves I could find and turned them into a crown. They’re still there, thanks to the cold sun that has graced us in the past days. I visit Nele every day. I sit there, and talk to her. I honestly don’t care if those around me think I’m crazy. Sometimes I can feel Flake’s or Richard’s worried eyes on me, especially when we eat together. But they seem to have finally understood that I’m a man that takes some time alone to heal its own wounds._

_Benedetta…Benedetta isn’t conscious yet. And every day that passes without her waking up kills me. I’m starting to come to terms with my feelings. I’m starting to see that there could be…etwas. Or at least, that is what goes on in my mind. But then I look in the mirror, one of those that still haven’t been broken inside the castle, and see that I’m just an old man. An old, tired man. Still, every time I look at her face, every time I brush my fingers on her cheek as I say good night to her, is a moment of happiness. True happiness. But somehow, I already know that I’m not going to say a single word to her about this. I’ve never been the one for open love declarations in front of the world. I have love inside of me, I’ve always had it. Some people didn’t understand it, some did. But…well, I guess I’ll just see what happens._

_In the meantime, I’ve found my favourite activity: reading German literature books out loud to her. I have visited what was once the library of Neuschwanstein, and have found a few things. I guess, it gives me peace to do something I like in this time of need. So I’m reading Goethe to her. And Schiller. The Romantics. I wonder if this has to do something with the turmoil going on inside of me right now. If only I could find something to write on, I’d start writing poetry again. Poetry…I’m so glad that the apocalypse hasn’t taken that away from me._

_It’s been six days since the battle. I don’t know what has happened to William. But they asked me what I wanted to do with him, and I let him go. In the forest, without any weapons. To hell with him, he deserves to be eaten. I didn’t want to have blood on my hands, that’s something more like Richard. Richard, that as a matter of fact, couldn’t understand why I let him go. The only thing I know though, is that I won’t start feeling at peace until she has woken up. So I look at her, all the time I can. Until I fall asleep with my head between my arms, resting on her bed. On that very same day, I felt something touching my hair in a very weak way. I pull my head up, waking up from the dreamless nap I had just taken. She lifts up her eyelids, painfully slowly. It takes her a few moments to realize that she’s awake. I stay in silence, and immediately hold her small hands, trying to be as gentle as I can, even though my instincts are telling me to hold her as tight as I can and never let her go. I look at her, expectantly. I feel my heart beating so fast, it almost comes out of my chest._

_“…Till?”  
“Ja. Ich bin…ich bin hier.” _

****

_Two months later_

Snow was all around them. Everything was so silent and peaceful, that one could almost forget the world they were living in now. The white sky above them confused itself with the smoke from the fires that had been lit in the Castle to keep everyone warm. Everything seemed to have gone back to “normal”, for as normal as their situation was. The girl had just taken a walk to the gate, to exchange a few words with the sentinels. She liked talking with them on her day off, helping them from time to time with killing the monsters that arrived at the fence. It was also some kind of physical exercise, to keep her body working even on her day off. She heard someone whistling, and looked up on the hill: Paul and Richard were waving their hand. She smiled at the sight, and said bye to the sentinel she was talking to. Running, she made her way up the hill to them.

“Hey you.” She said to them, hugging the both of them. “You’re back already.”

“Our hunter is in great shape, so it didn’t take us long.” Paul laughed, exchanging a look with Richard. The small group started walking to the gates of the Castle, to go back inside. She crossed her arms on her chest, to feel a little more warmth.

“Where is he?” she asked.

“Don’t worry.” Richard brushed two fingers on Benedetta’s cheek, to reassure her. Every time Till left to go hunting she felt something missing from her heart. He could stay away even for two or three days, depending on the size of the animal. But the fact he was never going alone – because a couple of the other guys were always with him, - made her feel better. As they arrived at the entrance of the Castle, Paul stopped them.

“What’s up?” Benedetta asked, a little confused. Immediately after, Paul was very quick put a piece of fabric around her head, on her eyes, as soon as she had turned her head to look at Richard before asking him something. “Paul, what the…”

“Please trust us.” Richard laughed, as he took her hand. “Mind the steps.”

“What is happening? Paul, you of all people, tell me what is happening.” Benedetta said with a little laugh as they went up the stairs of the Castle.

“Would you please relax?” Paul said, as he had taken her other hand and was helping to take her up to the upper floor. The two men probably escorted her in a room, but she didn’t know which it was. She heard the door closing, and noticed how the room was incredibly silent. It was unreal.

“Don’t open your eyes. Not yet.” Richard said. She felt a hint of excitement in his voice, but she couldn’t understand why.

“Erm…okay, I guess.” She felt two hands now covering her face. But they weren’t Richard’s. At the same time, the fabric was removed from her head. She tried to do as told, and kept her eyes closed behind the big hands on her face.

“Gut. Drei…zwei…eins…you can open your eyes now.” Richard said. She opened her eyes, and the hands were taken away from her face. What she saw in front of her made a huge smile climb onto her face.

“Alles Gute zum Geburstag!”

Christoph and his family, Flake and his daughter, Paul’s kid, Khira Li – Richard’s oldest daughter, - Richard’s little girl, and finally Oliver, were all throwing leaves in the air as they were confetti, with very big smiles on their faces. There was what looked like roast pork on the table, and the smell was incredibly delicious. Benedetta didn’t know how, but most of all she didn’t know why. She turned around, and there _he_ was. Right behind her, towering over her with the sweetest smile a man could have.

“Thank you, thank you very much…but it’s not my birthday. Till, I told you.”

“You told me your birthday was in December. Judging from the weather, it’s December. So it’s your birthday to me.” She let her arms slip around Till’s waist, and leant her head on his chest. She laughed, and laughed again.

“December is Christmas’ month as well, so why can’t we take the occasion to be a family and celebrate anyways?” Paul said, giving Benedetta a quick kiss on her cheek.

“That was my idea.” Oliver stood up, and went to hug both Till and the girl at the same time.

“How did you get that pig anyways?” she asked, closing her eyes for a moment and enjoying the smell. Then she went on and hugged all the people around the long table they had improvised in the room.

“We bought it.” Till said, proudly. Benedetta looked at him in confusion.

“Bought it?”

“I exchanged one of my fishing canes for it, with a farmer that doesn’t live too far from here.” Till replied, proud of himself.

“The things you do for hunger.” She said to him, with a cunning smile on her face.

“The things I do for love. Und für meine Familie.” Till cupped her face with his hands, and leant down to leave a long, gentle kiss on her lips. Benedetta felt her cheeks burn and her heart explode. Like every time he did that, or every time he took her hands in his, or every time he he came back to her. “Oh, I have something for you. Hier.” Till took out something from the pockets of his trousers. It was in a piece of black fabric, and he was being very careful in handling it.

Benedetta opened it up: it was her knuckle knife, the one that had been taken away from her as soon as they had been captured by William and his men.

“How did you find it?!” she asked, throwing her arms around Till’s neck.

“It was in the mud around the gates. I think it fell from some of the men that tried to run away.” Till left a kiss on the girl’s temple, and enjoyed looking at her smile of true happiness for the gift he had made to her.

“Danke, Till. Danke schön.” Benedetta said, putting the knife in its place: in her weapons’ belt, still hanging from her waist. Till smiled again, a hand on Benedetta’s thigh as she sat down next to him. "Can I come hunting with you now?"

"If you behave." Till rubbed the tip of his nose against hers, in the sweetest of gestures. 

“I think we need a toast!” Paul proposed, taking the water bottles and pouring some water into everyone’s glasses.

“What do we toast to?” Till asked Benedetta, offering her a glass. The girl took the glass between her fingers, and looked at the others. Everybody looked so beautiful to her eyes, and she felt grateful. Grateful with every day passing.

“To you. To us.” She looked at Paul and Richard, then at Oliver, Flake and Christoph. She looked at their families. “To our family. Auf unsere Familie.”

“Auf unsere Familie.” Till repeated after her, lifting up his glass. “Prost!”

“Auf unsere Familie!”

 _Familie._ The most beautiful word there could be.

 

_T H E  E N D_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at the end of our story. I must admit that writing this last chapter has been quite difficult, because of different ideas and because of how melancholic I am about the fact that this is finished. I wrote it to cope with some of my needs, and Till has been such a great source of inspiration and of healing to me. I don't care if that could sound stupid. Writing this story has given me a lot of time to practice with my English - because English is not my first language, even though sometimes I forget it isn't, - and to deal with my emotions, channeling them into the story. A thank you to all of you is in order, and I hope you'll continue coming around and reading what I have in store. Thank you so much, I really mean it. You guys rock! ♥
> 
> See you soon and thank you again,  
> -mareavera


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